Date Other People When Trying to Get Back Your Ex (Or Not)?

Should your date other people while at the same time date your ex? Will dating other people when you’re trying to get your ex back hurt your chances? This is a question you will be faced with at some point when trying to attract back your ex; especially if the process is dragging on for too long.

My personal opinion and my experience as a coach is that there is nothing wrong with dating other people while trying to attract back your ex. You are not in a relationship, so it’s not like you are cheating. And if the process is dragging on to 3 months or more, it’s unrealistic for your ex to expect you not to date other people.

Of course, you will have exes who have a problem with you dating other people; and might see that as a potentially red flag against getting back together. But you can’t put your life on hold for someone who might not even come back.

Dating other people to make your ex jealous

The problem I see with many people trying to attract back there is that they try to use “dating other people” to make their ex anxious, jealous and feel rejected and abandoned. Is it a wise move? Absolutely not!

1. It’s a rebound

You may have already hurt one person (your ex) and that is why you are broken up. You may end up hurting the new man or woman because you still have feelings for your ex.

This is accumulating a lot of bad energy around you. I am well aware that some people don’t care about “bad energy” or karma; but even if you don’t give a damn about who you hurt (because you’re hurting); you might not be so lucky to have “used” someone who will just fold in and die when you dump them.

You may find that you’re with a stalker or a very revengeful person who’ll make your life so miserable that it’ll be impossible to enjoy a relationship with your ex; after working so hard to get your ex back.

2. You hurt your chances

The person you will hurt most is you. Making your ex anxious and jealous may seem like fun in the moment; but seeing that you moved on so quickly, will make your ex think the relationship didn’t mean much to you. They may decide that it’s best for them to move on as well. And that’s the last thing you want.

Let’s just say, your ex feels rejected and abandoned and they come back. They didn’t come back because they want to be with you; they came back because they felt threated by your “rebound relationship”. Because of this, you may find yourselves having arguments and fights about the fake rebound relationship.

Beginning a new relationship based on fear of rejection or abandonment is not always a good idea

The probability of the two of you breaking up again as soon as your ex thinks the rebound man or woman is out of the picture is also very high; unless of course you keep pretending to be seeing other people to keep your ex’s insecurity level high. And what kind of relationship is that?

Wouldn’t it be really wonderful to know that someone came back because they love you enough to want to be with you and no one else? That it was love that brought them back and not a dirty trick?

If you feel that you need to date other people while trying to get back your ex, do it knowing very well that there is a chance that it could hurt your chances short-term and long-term. You are making a choice to risk your chances because it is what you need to do while trying to attract back your ex.


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1 Comment

  1. says: DeJuan

    Thank you, this is really helpful. My ex blocked me after seeing photos of me with another woman on Instagram. I love my ex and want her back, but because we are not together, I thought she would not care. As I am reading this, I am taking the photos down and will send an apology text. I really want her to respond, but she may not.

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