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You start believing that you need to be more patient, wait a little longer, or try a different trick, even...
They don't have to give more because the relationship is already functioning for them at the level you have accepted.
The point is not that you should always wait. The point is that your action should be deliberate, not reactionary or impulsive.
Discovering you're more fearful avoidant than anxiously attached is a major revelation.
A secure you is able to neutralize most of your ex's insecure behaviours. You no longer automatically trigger matching...
They have unlimited access to your time, energy and attention, but you do not have reliable availability or access to theirs.
Instead of asking: “How do I stop myself from reaching out?” A more self-aware question becomes: “What am I feeling...
Knowing this changes everything because it shifts the focus from “Something’s wrong?” to “What’s happening right now?”
So how do you stop being boring and become fun again? The first step is to become fun again for yourself, not for your avoidant ex.
You want them to “make them feel what you felt.” To try to rebalance something that feels deeply unfair.
