Can you predict if someone is good or bad at sex even before you have sex with them?
I posed this question to participants in one of my workshops; and this is a summary of the answers I got from the women:
- I can see if a guy is good or bad in bed, just by the way he walks and dances.
- If he is stiff and clumsy; I know he will be single-minded and bad in bed too.
- If he wobbles or rubs feet on the ground when he walks; I know he’ll be lazy, boring and I have to direct him in bed.”
And this is what the men said:
- I can see if a woman is good in bed by how comfortable she is in her own body.
- If she is confident, relaxed and happy with her body, weight, cup size and all that, I know she will be confident and relaxed in bed too.
Another interesting answer I got from one man is: I can tell if she is good in bed just by the way she eats. If she picks her food, I know I am going to get too many “not now”. If she is gulping her food absent mindedly, I can tell she is going to “fake” orgasms.”
What makes a woman good or bad in bed?
It’s interesting that some people can predict if someone is good or bad at sex even before they have sex with them. But when I asked both men and women what they use to “read” people’s sexual vibes a majority said body language; but a few said they “just know”.
There is a much more complex angle to reading sexual energy than reading body language. If you’re observant, you may have noticed that there is a secret language that people who are highly energized sexually communicate with each other. They seem to recognize each other instantly. They walk into a room, look around and zero on one of their own; and you see their and the other person’s eyes light up. Even if they try to hide it, you can see it even if you can’t quite put your finger on it.
So what’s their real secret?
Some people have a conscious awareness of their sexual energy. They have learned to generate, center and focus their sexual energy and communicate their “inner fire”. Most people are not even aware of what it is EXACTLY they “do” to be that sexually magnetic. They’ll tell you “I am just being myself” – and they are. They don’t necessarily say or do anything that can be described as “flirting”; but their timing is flawless and their sexual vibes effortlessly strong.
Is it always about sex?
Yes and No. Sexual energy works on a primitive level; and procreation is so deeply instilled in us that it’s impossible to escape. And there’s nothing wrong with acknowledging its power over our lives. In fact, it is argued by some schools of thought that almost every human endeavor is in one form or another, a transmutation of sexual energy.
Does that mean that when your sexual energy is highly activated you want to have sex with anyone; and all the time?
No. sex is just one expression of sexual energy. When driven by this energy we develop keenness of imagination, courage, will-power, persistence; and creative ability unknown to us at other times. Many of the self-imposed limitations – doubts, fears, inhibitions etc., that you imagined were stopping you from being utterly irresistible to the opposite sex just seem to be silly and drift away.
Can anyone read another’s sexual energy?
Anyone can you predict if someone is good or bad at sex even before you have sex with them. There is nothing psychic about this and nothing extraordinary. You do not create sexual energy (with techniques routines or even body language); the codes that creation imprinted on us are available to us twenty-four hours a day at maximum strength.
If the codes are there why can’t we all do it?
Some people have beliefs, attitudes and behaviours programmed into them by their upbringing and environment that makes them hold back or suppress their sexual energy.
Your ability to predict if someone is good or bad at sex even before you have sex with them is something you can cultivate and develop. When you are in touch with, accept, feel good and are comfortable with your sexual energy you can create very intense attraction without trying to figure who or what is. You can walk into a room and sense, sometimes almost tangibly, another’s sexual energy, and the reaction between theirs and yours almost always immediately and you can tell whether it’s enough to spark interest or not.
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The Art of Seducing Out of Fullness will benefit men as well as women? How can one method help both sexes? I’m sure there is a widely different approach between the two.
The book is NOT about a “method”, that’s a “efforting” or PAU mindset. There are no methods or scripts in the book because it’s about something that happens from the inside naturally and following your own unique individual way of BE-ING your sexual self.
If you’re looking for a “method”, my advice is don’ buy the book, it’ll be a waste of your time and money. Also if you are not mentally ready for a completely different take on what it means to “naturally seduce” (with the purpose of a lasting loving relationship and not just to get laid), you will find yourself more confused than enlightened.
It applies to both, because sexual energy has no gender of sex. It’s both within men and women, and in all of us with equal amounts and works the same way for both men and women. Some of us are either born or have developed skills for using it to benefit us and others have not.
The big unanswered question in this story is “how?” How do you learn to develop and cultivate this sexual energy in yourself? How do you learn to read it in others?
You might want to read some of my articles on Sexual Energy & Sexual Confidence. I think you’ll find them helpful. Also my eBook “The Art of Seducing Out of Fullness” is about using natural sexual energy to draw others to you instead of the canned scripts typical of PUAs.