Can You Attract Back Someone You Dated Briefly?

Question: In your experience, can you attract back someone you dated briefly? We had a brief 2-month brief relationship. Things moved too quickly and passionately. From day one, we were texting all day and spent nights together 5 days a week. We had hard an amazing weekend together. Towards the end of the weekend, he ended it. He said he liked me, but he wasn’t ready for a serious relationship. I tried to tell him neither was I, but it he had made up his mind to break-up. I played it cool and left. Next day he texted me asking how I was. We stayed in contact here and there but eventually we lost contact.

I would like to reach out and try reconnecting with him. Even though we dated briefly, I honestly don’t think there was anything wrong with us. Things moved too quicky and he felt scared.

Yangki’s Answer: Yes you can attract back someone you dated briefly.

You are right that things moved too quicky and he was scared. In my experience, most people end a relationship with someone they’ve been dating for a very short period of time because: They saw something, heard something, thought or felt something. It made them make a pre-mature decision about the future of the relationship. The decision is based on limited information. They really don’t know you enough to make an informed decision.

They are not going to change their mind about you (more like who they think you are) if there is no opportunity for them to get to know you more.

Reach out and see if he is open to reconnecting. Don’t say you want to try things again until you see how he responds. If he responds positively, start by hanging out and getting to know each other in the way you were not able to because things ended too quickly. Make sure that you do not repeat the same mistakes of allowing things to move too quickly.

The approach you use to attract back someone you dated briefly (and weren’t in a relationship with) is different from one you use to attract back someone you were in a “relationship” with.

If you approach things from the “get your ex back” perspective, you will get a lot of unnecessary resistance because the other person does not consider themselves “an ex”, and may feel pressured to act like an ex.

They may not understand why you are saying the things you are saying, or doing what you are doing to attract back an ex because in reality there was never a break-up to begin with.  Any move you try to “get them back”, only makes them pull away even further.

If you feel that your relationship ended too quickly, and you weren’t given a fair chance because your ex prematurely decided that you were not compatible, or that the relationship wasn’t working after only a few weeks or months of dating, I’m happy to work with you one-on-one to assess your chances, and guide you through the delicate nuances of Break-Up vs. A Bad Start.

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  1. says: Lara

    Yangki, thank you. We had a relationship of 7mnths wich was great but ended 7 weeks ago because of stress and huge decisions. He said he still loved me and part of him wanted to stay in the relationship but he needed time en space for himself to get his life together again. After reading a book of an “expert” I started NC. Bad decision. I found your book and now we are talking again, but not on emotional level yet. Can I follow your book or better an other plan to reinforce our connection again?

    1. says: Yangki Akiteng

      I don’t understand what you mean by “better an other plan to reinforce our connection again?”

      As for following my book, that’s a decision only you can make.