Can An Ex Still Be Attached Years After The Breakup?

Attachment style as a factor of how long it takes to fully get over someone makes so much sense. Given that anxiously attached tend to have stronger attachment to their partners, it’s not a surprise at all that they have longer-lasting attachment bonds with their exes and took much longer to get over an ex.

Anxiously attached also tend to want their exes to still fulfill attachment related functions (e.g. be available, be responsive, talk about the breakup, etc.) and have more frequent contact with exes than other attachment style. This dependency on an ex for emotional support and emotional regulation extends how long it takes to get over an ex. For some, the emotional bond to an ex after the breakup is higher than that to a stranger even many years later.

The shock may be avoidants who have high levels of avoidance can still take up to eight years to truly get over an ex. Most of us assume that because avoidants seem relieved when a relationship ends and “move on” very fast after the breakup, their attachment to exes also fades away very quickly.