Anxious Men Imagine Women Are Sexually Interested In Them

anxious-men-think-women-are-sexually-interested-when-they-are-notA study entitled, “The Misperception of Sexual Interest” by Williams College psychologist Carin Perilloux found out that the more attracted you are to someone, the more likely you are to be wrong about his/her sexual interest, particularly after a few drinks.

A new study goes further, suggesting that wishful thinking makes men higher in attachment anxiety see women as sexually interested when that’s not necessarily the case.

Researchers at Union College in New York asked nearly 500 men to imagine a scenario in which an attractive woman at a nightclub catches their eye.

The woman notices she is being stared at and smiles back.

Participants were asked to gauge the level of interest they believed the woman in the scenario was showing, ranging from ‘not at all interested’ to ‘extremely interested.’

The men were also asked to assess the extent to which they exhibited either of two tendencies – toward attachment anxiety and toward attachment avoidance.

Those higher in attachment anxiety have a need for love and reassurance and a fear of rejection.

People higher in attachment avoidance typically are reluctant to trust and rely on others, and fear intimacy.

The study found that men on the higher end of the attachment anxiety spectrum were most likely to imagine a woman being sexually interested in them.

This is due in part to the men’s strong desire for intimacy, said Joshua Hart, associate professor of psychology and the lead author of the study to be published in the April issue of the journal Personality and Individual Differences.

And men higher in attachment anxiety project their own flirtatiousness and sexual interest onto the woman, based on their hopes that she will reciprocate.

‘If you view yourself as being flirtatious, that biases you to seeing others as behaving similarly,’ Hart said.

Conversely, men higher in attachment avoidance felt the opposite.

‘Their lower interest in intimacy led them to be less interested in the fictional woman, thus seeing themselves as being less flirty, and in turn, imagining the woman as less sexually interested in them,’ Hart said.

The study’s results are an example of how wishful thinking pervades human social interactions.

‘We see in reality what we wish to see, not necessarily what’s there,’ Hart said.

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