Love is so powerful because it is the closest we ever come to the divine. But if we don’t know what truly makes love work, the same love that can be so full of joy leaves us feeling isolated, rejected, angry, hurt, lonely and unfulfilled.
So what truly makes love work? Here are some very powerful ancient secrets that will transform your awareness and bring you into the joy and true experience of love!
1. Know yourself
This probably the most powerful secret of all loving relationships. If you (yourself) don’t know who is falling in love or getting into a relationship, how do you expect the other person to understand you? How do you expect them to unconditionally accept you when you don’t even understand or accept yourself?
If you can’t love and accept yourself unconditionally, it is unrealistic to expect anyone else to love you unconditionally. You’ve got to take time to really know who you are beyond your family, education, career, social circles, etc. Who really are you? Do you accept accept yourself the way you are today, now?
2. Allow yourself to be seen
You can never feel truly loved if you can not let others see who you truly are. You have to let the person see who you are and allow him/her to accept you. When you feel total freedom to be yourself; be fully open, honest, transparent, fully emotionally naked, without hidden agenda or hidden motive, and free of all insecurities and the like, you are more able to invite others in to share your inner world – fears and vulnerability, dreams and deepest feelings of love.
3. Choose your life companion carefully
Do not choose someone because you think you have some kind of advantage or power that you can use to control him/her, or because you are desperate and lonely. Instead choose someone with whom you can become more than you have ever been before; someone who touches your very soul – and totally transforms you so that you’ll never be the same again. It is the difference between just being together and becoming together.
4. Fall deeply in love
Do not be afraid to fall deeply in love because that love might leave. People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. Some people come into your life to serve a specific purpose and when that purpose is fulfilled they will depart. Others come into your life to support you during a certain period of your life. After you grow out of this period they no longer are needed so they must leave. And there are others who come in for the long haul.
Just as the sun rises in the East and sets in the West, people coming and going is a natural rhythm of life and being too cautious with your heart means that you are missing out on living. The rhythm of life is not going to change for you – you might as well join the dance of life!
5. Let others be
Let go off unrealistic expectations. Let go off rules, techniques and mind games. Let go off trying to get others to conform to what you believe to be the right way or perhaps, the way society dictates. This does not mean you stop caring, pretend nothing is wrong when something is bothering you or, don’t ask for what you want. Letting others be is an active process of choosing how you react, taking care of what needs to be done, expressing your feelings, releasing them, being done with it, and moving on.
If the person you love feels pressured or restricted by you (and your demands, feelings) he or she will not feel truly loved. Not totally.
6. Be supportive of your partner
Teach yourself how to support your partner unconditionally. I say teach yourself because it is not always easy, as it sometimes involves speaking the truth. Yet doing so without withholding love, and giving moral support even if you do not share or approve of his/her dreams. It means acknowledging that he/she has his/her own hopes and dreams and if you love him/her, you will encourage and support him/her in achieving those hopes and dreams not place conditions to frustrate him/her.
7. Have a strong social network of your own
Don’t’ expect your partner to act as a fix-for-all or cure-for-all (low self-esteem, loneliness, anger, boredom, sex, finances) etc. When you expect your partner to solve all of your problems, you deny yourself and your partner so many opportunities for change, discovery and growth. The same applies to thinking that you and only you can solve his/her every single problem and meet all of his/her needs.
Setting him/her free to find happiness and fulfillment outside of you will not only help you avoid relationship burn-out, but make the two of you closer because you both feel that you are growing and are fulfilled.
8. Make love consciously
Be generous with yourself by staying consciously present and relaxed. This is more than trying to stuff as much pleasure and energy into the genitals as quickly as possible so that you arrive at an orgasm or even trying to prolong orgasm. This is about taking the time to allow sexual energy to slowly build up, distribute itself throughout your system (mind, body and spirit) and revitalize it, so that you can experience even more pleasure. The more generous you are with your sexual energy, the more powerful the effect sexual energy will have in your entire life.
9. Live and let live
Love is something of here and now, not something you do to get a result, or get something for the future. Love is an action in which you are fully present where you already are. An action that fulfills its own purpose at every single moment – one that does not need for you to hurry the moment, but just let it be.
After reading this you may be thinking, “this all sounds wonderful but I can never have this kind of love in my life?”.
You’ve already taken the first step just by reading this article. The next step is to put what you’ve learned into action. When you do you’ll find that it becomes easier and easier to step into this kind of loving state. I have and so have many of my clients. I know you too can!
An exciting journey of love and adventure awaits you.
