Some of the warning signs discussed in the video are things a fearful avoidant needs to do for themselves, and if they don’t, at some point you will have to decide whether it is worth it to keep trying to get back together or accept the fact that as badly as you want things to work, moving on is a smarter choice, especially if your ex knows that they’re avoidant and refuse to do anything about it.
But before you take that step, make sure that your own attachment style is not making things look worse than they are and harder than they should be. Work on becoming more secure so that you are able to make things work even if your ex doesn’t change.
While you work on becoming more securely attached, there are things that you can do or avoid that create a safe environment that will make a fearful avoidant want to try things again.
I’ve worked so hard on giving him more space, and don’t send text message so often, don’t get upset when he takes hours to respond or not respond at all, and what has he done to change? Nothing. He won’t even acknowledge that he has attachment avoidance issues instead says I am needy. I’m honestly at a point where I feel I need to move on and find someone secure.
I can relate to a FA unable to exactly describe the incompatibilities. My ex after dating for 3 years broke it because he felt overwhelmed. I made the mistake of doing no contact and now although she responds to my texts says we are incompatible for the long-term. I asked for specifics and all she says is that there are things she needs that I can’t give. How can she be sure I can’t give her what she needs when she can’t tell me what she needs and give me the chance to prove to her that I can? Very confusing.