How long have you been having text conversations? Is she …

Comment on 6 First Date Tips – How To Act When You See Your Ex by Love Doctor, Yangki Akiteng.

How long have you been having text conversations? Is she initiating contact? Do feel that there is a change in the tone of her texts, something to indicate that she’s progressively warming up to you? If the answers to these questions are yes, yes and yes, it doesn’t hurt to ask her out.

But if the answers are no, no and no, it may be pre-mature to ask her out. You want to make sure her responses are not just her being polite, but rather that she’s genuinely interested in talking to you. You may need to go beyond just mere contact to real communication where you are “connecting” more with her to get her to be interested.

That said, there is really no fast rule on when to ask an ex out for coffee/tea. She may say yes, or she may turn you down, but at least you asked, and maybe when you ask again next time, she’ll say yes.

It all depends on your level of confidence and how well you can course-correct if asking her out somehow causes her to pull back.

Love Doctor, Yangki Akiteng Also Commented

6 First Date Tips – How To Act When You See Your Ex
I am happy for you that things look positive. Her saying it feels like you’re still a couple means that she’s comfortable in your company. That’s a good thing.

You can actually do both. The letting it happen naturally part is not trying too hard to make something happen, and also not simply giving up the first time because it didn’t happen the way you want it to.As mentioned in the book, ask her if she wants to do something together as opposed to the usual coffee/drinks/dinner thing. If you are turned down, a warm and friendly, “I understand, may be next time”, says you are not needy and not forcing anything that should happen naturally. It’s important to note her reasons for turning you down because people in general tell us a lot about who they are and how they feel, if only we really listened. Follow the advice on being persistent about face-to-face meetings without putting pressure (Page 187-191).


6 First Date Tips – How To Act When You See Your Ex
Those are all very positive signs. Whatever you are doing seems to be working. I’m keeping my fingers crossed too…(:


6 First Date Tips – How To Act When You See Your Ex
Congratulations for making it this far… not easy… but things do happen if you have the right attitude, take the right/necessary steps and are patient.

For the big day… it’s best to go with “anything can happen…” attitude. Compliment her appearance because that’s something you will notice first. For the compliment to be meaningful, point out something that is different (in a positive way) from the last time you saw her…hair, weight, style etc. and make a comment about it. E.g. “Your hair is different. You had it coloured (cut/grew it long etc). It looks really good on you. I like it”.

Once you are seated go beyond outer looks to make an emotional connection. Something like “You look happy” or “You look peaceful” or any other emotional state that you observe. My experience is that people like to hear that they look happy or at peace. I don’t know why, I guess it’s what we all deep inside long for.

All the very best!!!!


Recent Comments by Love Doctor, Yangki Akiteng

Communicating Vs. Emotional Connection (Pt 2)
I’m hoping with you… 🙂
Thank you for your kinds words.


Laid Back Vs. Detached – And How Not to Be Needy
In the context of attracting back your ex, yes.

Go to “All Articles” in the menu and select “Attachment Anxiety & Avoidant Ex” category or type “attachment anxiety” in the search tool and read the articles that come up.


Best Response to An Ex On A Rebound (If You Want Them Back)
I know… 😉


Signs Your Ex Is Moving On (Has Moved On)
Type “emotional connection” in the search tool and there are several articles on how to emotionally connect with an ex. My book ‘Dating Your Ex” also has examples of how to go about making an emotional connection. But if you want more specific advice tailored to your unique situation, your ex’s personality and your ex’s attachment style, I am happy to coach you on how to emotionally connect with him and move things forward.


10 Signs You Are Obsessed With Your Ex
Spend time on this site and you’ll learn how. Balancing closeness and respect for the other’s boundaries is exactly what the site is about.


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