Thank you so much for this additional information, and thank …

Comment on 6 Psychological Reasons People Use No Contact by Love Doctor, Yangki Akiteng.

Thank you so much for this additional information, and thank you for sharing your personal struggles. I just wish more people were as honest about the “the background drama behind No Contact” as you are, they’d have better chances at getting back with the one they love.

I wish you continued success staying sober… (:

Love Doctor, Yangki Akiteng Also Commented

6 Psychological Reasons People Use No Contact
Makes sense. The real purpose of NC is to help you MOVE ON.

6 Psychological Reasons People Use No Contact
Gigi, unfortunately too many people are in so much pain or too panicked that they don’t realize the contradiction. Others are just lazy to use their critical thinking skills. They hear you MUST DO NO CONTACT, and they go “Oh! Okay”, since everyone is doing it, then I must do it too.

They cut off all sources of further information or evaluation by which to realistically assess their chances, or lack of. They base their assumptions and expectations on when they last texted, spoke to or saw their ex. For the most part, their emotions are either stuck in the ugliness of the break-up or the nostalgia of when things were really great. Either creates distorted realities that sometimes makes moving on harder, and makes getting back one’s ex near impossible!

That said, it takes a certain level of emotional maturity to do it the way you did it. I tip my hat (and heart) to you… (:

6 Psychological Reasons People Use No Contact
And how do you think those hateful feelings will change? By not communicating with him at all? I don’t think so! You really do need to do research on human emotions. Unlike what most of us want to believe, time does not always “erase” angry feelings.

Needy and clingy behaviour ruins relationship and by all means one must do everything possible to stop the behaviours. But is NC the best way to do it? I don’t think so. If you get anxiety attacks when you go in front of a crowd to speak, sing etc. you don’t “learn not to be anxious” by avoiding crowds. You learn by getting in front of a crowd and talk, sing etc. Same thing, you don’t learn not to be clingy and needy by avoiding contact, you learn it by being in contact and training yourself not to over do it.

Self-awareness is one way of doing it. But the best way to stop needy and clingy behaviour is heal why you are that way in the first place. Not everyone is needy and clingy… you are that way for a reason!

Recent Comments by Love Doctor, Yangki Akiteng

Communicating Vs. Emotional Connection (Pt 2)
I’m hoping with you… 🙂
Thank you for your kinds words.

Laid Back Vs. Detached – And How Not to Be Needy
In the context of attracting back your ex, yes.

Go to “All Articles” in the menu and select “Attachment Anxiety & Avoidant Ex” category or type “attachment anxiety” in the search tool and read the articles that come up.

Best Response to An Ex On A Rebound (If You Want Them Back)
I know… 😉

Signs Your Ex Is Moving On (Has Moved On)
Type “emotional connection” in the search tool and there are several articles on how to emotionally connect with an ex. My book ‘Dating Your Ex” also has examples of how to go about making an emotional connection. But if you want more specific advice tailored to your unique situation, your ex’s personality and your ex’s attachment style, I am happy to coach you on how to emotionally connect with him and move things forward.

10 Signs You Are Obsessed With Your Ex
Spend time on this site and you’ll learn how. Balancing closeness and respect for the other’s boundaries is exactly what the site is about.

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