You’ve spent weeks and even months texting your ex and you’ve created a strong emotional connection, enough good feelings and positive memories and there is enough momentum for you to ask your ex to finally meet in person, face-to-face, where do you start?
Start with these 5 great tips for asking your ex to finally meet up.
1. The timing of when you ask your ex to meet up
The secret to getting what you are asking for from your ex is good timing. If you want a guaranteed yes to a date with your ex, make sure your timing is right.
The right timing to ask your ex to meet up is when your ex is emotionally open, receptive and responsive. The worst thing you can do to your chances of getting back together is ask your ex to meet you when your ex is still hurting, is angry, distant, or suspicious of your intentions etc.
So before you ask your ex meet face-to-face, make sure you have created the right emotional environment for your ex to be emotionally open, receptive and responsive. The kind of emotional environment conducive for asking your ex to meet in person is warm, nurturing and relaxed.
If you don’t yet have that kind of emotional environment, asking for anything is not only scary, it can be a big risk. Best case scenario, your ex will think you are needy, and worst case scenario,
If you are interested in finding out about how to emotionally connect with your ex and get your ex to a place where they are emotionally open, receptive and responsive, enter “emotional connection” in the blog search tool and you will get some ideas as to what you need to be doing to build up the feelings of connection that create the “right” emotional environment for asking for your ex out on a date.
2. Your attitude when asking your ex to meet up
In the initial stages of trying to attract back your ex, at least up to a point where you are talking about possibly getting back together, your ex is just someone you want to get to know better, and hopefully have a relationship with. This should be your mindset when you ask your ex to meet in person.
It’s be nice if they said yes, but if they say no, it’s not personal, and it shouldn’t be the end of the road. It’s just another setback in a list of setbacks that you will encounter and overcome before you get back together.
When you approach asking your ex to meet up with openness and if you are more focused on their emotional needs and feelings rather than your agenda, your ex will see that you don’t need them to say yes (like your survival depends on it), you were just asking because you thought it’d be fun to finally meet.
3. How you ask your ex to meet up
Needy people have a history of getting a negative response when they ask for what they want or need, even when what they are asking for is reasonable. This, unfortunately makes them more afraid to ask for what they want or need.
Watch this short video below to see what you may be doing that makes you needy when you ask for what you want, and what gets you a negative reaction.
4. The words you use to ask your ex to meet up
The words you use and how you use them have the power to shape your ex’s answer when you finally ask them to meet. So choose your words carefully.
“Meet up”, “catch up” or “see each other” works for asking your ex to meet up for the first time.
Try not to use “get together”. Even if you are only asking to meet, “get together” triggers anxiety in some exes, especially it they ‘re not at this point thinking about getting back together; or want to take things slow.
“Hang out” may not be the right word either when asking your ex to meet up for the first time. I implies spending a significant amount of time together, and your ex may not be ready for that, yet.
5. What you will be doing when you finally meet
Keeping it casual will likely get you a better response. Your ex is more likely to say yes, if you ask them to get coffee, ice cream or a drink than if you ask them to grab dinner. That’s more like a ‘real date”. It might raise some alarms.
You will not go wrong if you use all these 5 tips; and not let your emotions and ego get in the way.
RELATED:
Asking to Meet With An Avoidant Ex (Too Soon, Too Much?)
6 First Date Tips – How To Act When Out On Date With Your Ex
