4 SECRETS Of People Who Get Back Their Ex – Pt 5

4- Keep trying for as long as you can do it

There is no magic number for how many times you should try to get back your ex or keep reaching out when your ex pulls back. For an ex who is not responsive, try at least three times to make sure it’s really over. For one who is open to contact and is responsive, keep trying for as long as you can do it.

If you are concerned about “wasting your time” or “being led on”, create for yourself small milestones to help you keep track of your progress. Revisit these milestones from time to time and if necessary make adjustments so that you are not just blindly beating a dead horse.

It’s very important that your milestones are as realistic to the situation as possible. Unrealistic milestones give the impression things are better or worse than they really are.

As mentioned in my other articles and in my book Dating Your Ex, persistence is not just a matter of stubbornly refusing to give up, or an excuse to make your ex’s life miserable.

  • You have to make the necessary changes that make you attractive to your ex, again.
  • You have to have a good plan of action (you might want to check with people you trust if your plan of action is realistic and/or effective).
  • You must be able to connect with your ex beyond “Hi, what’s up?” or “How’s your day”.
  • You must consistent in your words and actions, and be seen as committed to making the relationship work.
  • You have to know how hard to push and when to step back and let things unfold naturally.

Last but not least, you have to know when it’s time to give up. That point when you know it’s time is not always black-and-white clear. What I find helps is keeping track of your progress. If after three months of doing all the above, you are exactly where you were when you began, then may be it’s time to give up.

But if you can see progress, even small progress, it’s not over!

1                      3           4           5

More from Yangki Akiteng

We Broke Up – My Ex Wants Kids and I Don’t

Question: We were together for over five years and talked about getting...
Read More


  • my ex came back a month ago after almost one year breakup. i came across your site several years ago when tying to get back with another ex but ultimately that didnt work out and for good reason. i would never have met the love of my life.

    he ended with me because of my insecurities. i came back to your site and right away started working on me and keeping the lines of communication open. i worked on showing him i was working on me and working on emotionally connecting.

    there were days that i thought it was never going to happen. it was over and he had moved on. but i had invested too much to give up. my chances looked bleak, but anything was possible if I took small progressive steps and never wavered on my love for him. I got that internal motivation and strength from reading your books and site. thank you yangki for all you do!

    View Comment

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

HTML tags are not allowed.

517,651 Spambots Blocked by Simple Comments