3 Steps Crucial To Getting Back An Ex In A Rebound Relationship

You’ve probably read so many other articles on how to get back your ex from a rebound relationship; and each and everyone of them is telling you to do contact.

Your ex is in a rebound relationship, this means that there is an emotional and physical distance between you and your ex; how does no contact (more distance) get back an ex? This is bad advice.

What you need is the right attitude, a competitive advantage and a good plan for attracting back your ex. Nothing will work if you do not follow these 3 crucial steps to successfully get your ex back.

STEP 1: How serious is your ex’s relationship with the other man/woman?

If you should decide to try to get back together with an ex on a rebound or seeing someone new, the first most important step is figure out how “serious’ your ex’s new relationship is.

In my article: Is Your Ex’s Rebound Relationship Serious?; I explain in detail what a rebound relationship is; how you know your ex’s rebound relationship is serious; and if you can and will attract back your ex.

If your ex and the new man or woman have been together for a year, are already introducing each other to the other’s friends and family, moved in together or engaged; the relationship is probably “serious” enough that getting your ex back may not be very realistic.

There are exceptions where someone got back their ex who was in a “serious” relationship, but it’s rare.

STEP 2: What’s your advantage over your competition?

The second most important step is figure out your competitive advantage.

I don’t like the word “competition” when applied to relationships because I don’t think there should be “competition” for someone’s love. But what I think and reality are sometimes two very different things.

When your ex is seeing someone else, the reality is that you now have “competition” for your ex’s attention, affection and love. You may not like it, but there it is… reality!

Why should your ex choose you over the other man/woman? You have to be really, really realistic about this.

I have worked with men and women who are so delusional about their “competitive advantage” that I know without a thread of doubt that they are not going to be the “chosen one”. Not because they don’t have an “advantage”, but because they are way off on the ego trip.

Then there are men and women I just could not remain “objective” about and just had to blurt out, “Are you kidding me? You are most people’s dream man/woman. Your ex has to be crazy to walk away in the first place.” And some of them are surprised (bless their humble hearts) that they are that “good” a catch.

Bottom line: Know your advantage and take advantage of it.

3. What’s your strategy and plan of action for getting back your ex (from the other man/woman)?

The third most important step is figure out a strategy and plan of action

When do I contact my ex? How many times a week do I contact my ex? What do I say?… is not a a coherent strategy. I explain this in detail in my Dating Your Ex eBook.

The presence of another man/woman adds another layer of “difficulty” to getting back together; and this should be factored into your overall strategy for attracting back your ex. Even if you decide to let your strategy evolve organically, handling each day as it comes; it’s still important to have a plan on how to move things forward in the right direction.

It’s also important to stick to a course of action. If you keep flip-flopping between “I want to try” (when things feel good) and “I think I should move on” (when your ex isn’t responding the way you want him/her to); you will not get anywhere. The more time you spend back-and-forth, the less attractive you are; and the more time there is for your ex’s relationship with the new man/woman to get “serious”.

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6 Comments

  1. says: james

    Hi Yangki,

    I did a no contact for 3 weeks to heal myself and when I start contacting her back, she is now in a new relationship and was told that she wants to try this out.Help?

    1. says: Yangki Akiteng

      If you want your ex back, no contact is a very bad idea whatever your reasons for doing it are. All you can do now is respect her wish and let her try out the new relationship.

      Next time, don’t do no contact. Your ex is not going to be waiting around while you “heal” yourself.

  2. says: Godf

    Yangki, not only did no contact end up making the crack in our relationship bigger, I believe it created more cracks that didn’t exist before. When we broke up she said she was open to contact and friendship, but after no contact for a month she has completely reversed and now wants no contact or friendship. She also seems to dating a new guy. Could this be a rebound?

    1. says: Love Doctor, Yangki C. Akiteng

      I believe you when you say no contact created cracks that didn’t exist before. But even more importantly, it allowed for someone else to move in and fill the space left by you when you cut off all contact, and voluntarily took yourself out of the picture.

      Is it a rebound? Possibly. It’s too early to tell. Some rebounds last and/or end up being long term.

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