Question: I dated my ex for 14 months, we broke up on my birthday over an argument and then I realised it was my fault it happened in the first place. Then when I tried to call him he avoids my calls and don’t want to talk to me. This behavior of his has been going on for the past 3 months. What hurts me the most is that it’s a long distance relationship now. And I don’t know what to do to get him listen to me or get his attention like before. Does it mean that he no longer want me and I should forget about him? I really care about him. what should I do love doctor?
Yangki’s Answer: I believe that you care about him, but your attitude isn’t helping.
“[This behavior of his] has been going on for the past 3 months. [What hurts me the most] is that it’s a long distance relationship now. And I don’t know what to do [to get him listen to me] or get his attention like before.”
This kind of attitude strongly suggests someone who is pushy, is thinking just about herself and her feelings, and probably a poor communicator.
If you have been trying to get his attention for 3 months and still getting nowhere, it’s a clue that you should stop doing what you have been doing because it’s not working and do things differently.
Changing your whole attitude towards your ex is a good place to start. In addition, you also need to change the following:
- You admit that it’s your fault the break-up happened, act like someone who is taking responsibility.
- Stop calling him to talk about the relationship or the break-up. Most exes just want to move on from the past and even someone who still wants to talk to you will avoid you if you keep bringing up a painful or emotionally stressful experiences.
- Stop trying to get his attention and instead give him attention.
- Exes do get back together even in long distance relationship, instead of being frustrated about it, use long distance to your advantage. There are articles on here on how to do that.
- Work on you so he can see that what happened to cause the break-up will not happen again.
These are some of the things you can do for a start. I don’t have more details about your situation and therefore can’t provide very specific advice.