What prevents most people from opening themselves up to love is not trusting their hearts’ wisdom (intuition), and fearing that someone will take advantage of them. But living in your head, on guard, making sure that no one will take advantage of you (which they do anyways) can prevent you from experiencing the very same thing that you long for with all your heart – boundless love and intimacy.
Using your heart wisdom or intuition will not guarantee that no one will take advantage of you because as long as your soul has lessons to learn, you will continue to experience pain, betrayal and disappointment. Using your heart wisdom will guarantee that you do not linger in pain and feeling victimized, you can easily recognize how your perceptions, beliefs, and behaviours are keeping you in pain and move forward on your path with a new awareness; transforming that pain into wisdom and power.
To help you date with conscious intention, I have compiled a list of heart wisdom dating practices that I believe you will find very empowering. Hopefully they’ll help you make healthy and successful choices in your next relationship.
1. Attraction is not enough to make a relationship work — you need compatibility and commitment.
2. If you feel emotionally empty before you start a relationship, you will feel just as empty (or more) once you are in one.
3. Strong believers of “love at first sight” often look for all the wrong qualities in a partner, and overlook the right qualities.
4. To find out the kind of partner you’ve been looking for, look at the kind of partners you’ve ended up with. You don’t attract the same type of person over and over by bad luck – you get what you are subconsciously looking for.
5. Your subconscious programming (and not the men or women you date) is responsible for much of the pain you experience in your love life.
6. Becoming aware of your subconscious decisions is the first step to eliminating those unwanted patterns in your love life.
7. It is possible to experience true love with more than one person, there are many potential “soul mates” you could be happy with.
8. There is no “perfect’ person out there who will fulfill you in every way. Your “right partner” will fulfill many of your needs. It is unrealistic to expect one person to fulfill every one of your needs.
9. When you are feeling lonely and desperate, you are much more likely to make poor choices and end up in unfulfilling relationships.
10. When you change and edit your values with the hope that you and your new partner will get along, you lose your sense of self early in the relationship and create a false sense of compatibility.
11. When you fall in love with someone’s potential rather than who they actually are, you will only end up frustrating and hurting yourself.
12. People who go on emotional rescue missions often mistake sympathy for love.
13. When you fall in love with someone who is your role model, it is difficult to have a normal relationship.
14. Don’t cultivate a relationship with someone “superior” who you think will “elevate” you in some way, but with an equal you enjoy and can’t get enough of.
15. When you experience powerful sexual chemistry with someone, its NOT always love.
16. Good sex has nothing to do with true love, but making love has everything to do with being truly in love.
17. The closer your sexual style is to your partner’s, the more likely both of you will enjoy your sexual experiences.
18. If you are with someone who will not communicate with you about how he/she feels, you are NOT in a love relationship, you are in a social arrangement.
19. A long distance romance makes it easy for you to think the relationship is much better than it actually is.
20.. The more you love yourself, the less likely you are to allow others to treat you with disrespect, or mistreat and abuse you.
21. The more anger towards the past that you carry in your heart, the less capable you are of loving in the present.
22. When you learn t o “feel’ people with your heart rather than just your eyes and ears, you will attract much more healthier and compatible people in your life.
Allow your heart – wisdom to create your future, moment-to- moment. Live in your heart knowing that your logical, organized left-brain is still available to you as a tool. It stores information for you to retrieve at any time. Go to your head for facts you have filed there, and present them from your heart. When you can trust your heart’s wisdom your physical being becomes more attractively relaxed, your mental being becomes more clear, your emotional being becomes more balanced, and your spiritual being becomes more open bringing you closer and closer to pure and true love.