People who have given up on love and relationships in general have and attitude, and use words and statements that reveal they have given up on relationships.
Granted, some people are single, not for lack of trying but a matter of waiting for the right person to come along. But not all single men and women are “waiting for the right person to come along”, some of them have long given up on love and relationships. Others are knowingly or unknowingly blocking themselves off from intimate relationships.
If one or more of these statements are your reasons for being single, then may be you should seriously have a talk with yourself. You may be denying yourself one of the most rewarding experiences of being human.
- “I don’t want to get hurt. I’d rather be alone”.
- “Every time I get into a relationship, I ruin everything”.
- “I get bored so easily. It’s just hard to find someone who can sustain my interest for long”.
- “Relationships are just too complicated. Who wants the trouble?”.
- “I am afraid to let anyone know me. I feel that if they know who I really am, they’ll not like me”.
- “Men aren’t interested in intimacy, they just want sex”.
- “I have everything I want. I don’t need a relationship”.
- “Lasting relationships between two people is impossible”.
- “I don’t want to change for anyone, they either love me the way I am, or don’t”.
- “There are many single men and women and I am not the only one”.
- “I have more important things to do with my life”.
- “I want to know everything about someone before I get into a relationship”.
- “There are no more good women left”.
- “I’ll never find love again”.
- “There are no more good men left”.
- “I’ve never seen a happy couple”.
- “Relationships are not worth the effort/overrated.”
- “I’ll never understand women”.
- “It’s impossible to make a woman happy”.
- “I’ll never understand men”.
The secret about Nos. 19 and 20 is that you don’t have to understand someone to love them. No questions about it, it makes relationships a little more complicated and even hard at times, but that’s the whole point of relationships, love and life itself. It’s a journey of self-discovery. If you set your mind to enjoy the journey, there’ll be no hurry to get to the destination. The journey will be fulfilling on it’s own.
Bottom line: Intimate relationships don’t take anything away from you, instead they add more of you to yourself. They don’t stop you from being yourself, instead they help you become more of yourself by sharing yourself with someone else.
The sharing becomes “we”, and as you continue sharing more and more of yourself you gain more and more “we”. You never disappear. You maintain yourself as the other person maintains him or herself but you both grow “we” together.
“We” is so much more fulfilling — on all levels — than just “I”.
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