2 Types Of Boring Men – Why Women Break-Up With You

What’s the number one reason many women break up with a guy they think is really wonderful, they get along with really well, and even love? He won’t commit.

The number two reason? He’s boring.

But what exactly do people mean when they say someone is boring?

It takes time for most us to decide that someone is boring person, but some people give off hints of being a boring person right from the first time you meet them.

Boring people mostly come in two types:

1. The loud type – talk nonstop, don’t know how to listen, talk over other people, think they know everything about everything, often come across as domineering (not in a good way), have shallow emotional expression and come across as superficial, tell inappropriate jokes etc.

2. The quiet type – barely talk (you have to work really hard to get two sentences out of them), don’t seem to know a lot about anything/in depth or have an opinion of their own, don’t express any kind of emotion, take themselves too seriously all the time, don’t get most jokes/no sense of humour etc.

Both of these types of people are socially inept but in different ways. One has zero self-awareness and the other is overly self-conscious. Both of them are mentally and emotionally boring not just to women but to most people.

Surprisingly, many guys either don’t know they are boring or don’t believe in their ability to bore a woman out of a relationship. I’ve heard many say to me, “she says I’m a great guy” or “she says it’s the best relationship she’s ever heard.”

How nice! But why is she breaking up with you? Better yet, why is she breaking up with you when you never have arguments or fight? Why did she break up with you after saying she had a great time with you? Why does she keep running away into the arms of guys she says are no where as good as you?

May be she doesn’t know what she wants or may be she’s afraid of commitment, but maybe she is just being polite and does not want to hurt your feelings.

Some women will tell you to your face that “you’re boring” but most will politely break up with you. They may tell you: “We have different communication styles”, “I need someone who mentally challenges me”, “You are not comfortable around my friends” or something that suggests that there is something about you they do not like but will not directly tell you.

What they really mean is that they find you boring. Some will break up with you again and again mostly because they know you’re a great guy but feel you’re not much fun to be around. And because she cares about you, may be even loves you, she’ll try not to further damage your self-esteem by using the following:

1. “Let’s just be friends”.
2. “I like you but don’t want to be in a relationship right now.”
3. “I need to be on my own for sometime.”
4. “I think we should see other people.”
5. “I feel that I need to explore life a little more.”
6. “We’re just not in the same place.”
7. “I love you but I’m not in love with you.”
8. “You haven’t done anything, I just need a break.”
9. “It’s not you, it’s me”
10. “Any woman would be lucky to have you.”

Okay, those are common break-up words almost everyone uses. It doesn’t mean anything. You may be right, but if you have any doubts about your ability to be so boring, test yourself against these 15 Reasons Why She Thinks You’re Boring.

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15 Reasons Why She Thinks You’re Boring

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18 Comments

  1. AvatarAvatarAvatarsays: Denisel

    But do you think it is a good reason to leave someone? My fear is that I may leave him and regret later or I’ll stay and be miserable for the rest of my life.

    1. Love Doctor, Yangki C. AkitengLove Doctor, Yangki C. Akitengsays: Love Doctor, Yangki C. Akiteng

      I can’t answer that for you. This is your heart, your life — the decision (and responsibility) is yours. When you let others decide what you do with your life and heart, you’re giving the most important power you’ll ever have away. I’d hate to be the one to take that power away from you. All I can do is offer and clarify the options you have… YOU decide.

      Trust yourself and even if you later find that you made a mistake, take it as a learning moment. They say the only mistakes we make are those we don’t learn from.

  2. AvatarAvatarAvatarsays: Denisel

    We discussed it a couple of times. He says he is happy with who he is but admits that his ex also complained about lack of conversation. Is this his way of telling me to leave?

    1. Love Doctor, Yangki C. AkitengLove Doctor, Yangki C. Akitengsays: Love Doctor, Yangki C. Akiteng

      It’s possible that he is telling you to leave if you want, or he could be simply saying that you need to accept him as he is.

      You have three options:

      1) accept him the way he is especially if the positives outweigh the negatives. For conversation and fun stuff, look to your friends and family etc;

      2) try to introduce some shared interest, things you both enjoy doing. You cannot change him but you can change things in the relationship; or

      3) if you can’t envision yourself with him and still be happy, walk away as his ex did. It’ll get much harder to walk away later when you have much more invested in the relationship.

  3. AvatarAvatarAvatarsays: Denisel

    This article confirms how I’m feeling about my current boyfriend. We’ve been dating for just over a year but things are so boring that I’m thinking of leaving him. He doesn’t talk much and when I ask him if he wants to do anything he just says it’s up to me. We never go out much because he says he doesn’t like being around people. All we do is dinner and sex. Sex used to be average but now it’s just boring. The only thing that’s making me stay is he’s the only guy that’s shown me love. Do you think I’m settling?

    1. Love Doctor, Yangki C. AkitengLove Doctor, Yangki C. Akitengsays: Love Doctor, Yangki C. Akiteng

      A year is a very short time for you to be feeling this way. Does he know how you feel?

  4. AvatarAvatarAvatarsays: DL

    You are right, this is my call. I posted my situation on another site and got a lot of negative advice. Thank you so much for your advice and for not taking my power away from me (:

  5. AvatarAvatarAvatarsays: Skipper

    Fair enough. This is a very sensitive topic for us men. We get rejected for being boring but as you’ve said, men don’t complain about women being boring, which doesn’t mean they aren’t any boring women.

    1. Once again, we agree… (:

      My point is: saying “look, women are also boring”, isn’t going to make one’s situation/experience better. I have a lot more respect for a man who takes responsibility and does what he needs to do to have what he wants, than one blames anyone or anything else for his experiences or circumstances, or is trying to prove he is right (in his miserable state).

      A bitter fact of life is that when you’re boring, no one really cares about what you have to say. Right or wrong, it doesn’t matter.

  6. AvatarAvatarAvatarsays: Skipper

    Yangki, I like your aticles and have learned a lot from your writings. My concern with this one is that you seem to suggest only men can be boring. I’ve dated some women who are just as boring, if not more boring than men. What do you have to say about that?

    1. A lot actually… and thanks for asking…(:

      I agree with you that “boring” is not the domain of one gender. There are as many “boring” women as there are men. What’s more, what one considers “boring” might not be considered boring by another (might even be considered interesting).

      The way I choose what to write about is from what I’m most asked about and what topic at the time keeps coming up again and again when I’m working with clients. I don’t get that many questions from men (or male clients) complaining about “boring” women. Men have other things they complain about but “boring” is not on top of the list (at least in my practice).

      Of course, it’d be “fair” for me to cast women as just as boring, but my job is not to right “unfairness” or prove that I’m right. My job is to help those who seek help. If I think something will help a lot of people, I’ll try to make my little contribution. Those who resonate with what I have to say and find it useful will take something from it that’ll improve the way they love and are loved. Those who don’t, won’t.

  7. AvatarAvatarAvatarsays: Justin

    Number 4 isn’t a sign that you’re boring, it’s a sign that she/he wants you to make all the decisions as for as activities go. It’s ridiculous… If you say “We could go do this…” and the chick/guy says “yeah, we could do that” with uncertainty in their voice, then of course the natural response would be to ask what he/she wants to do instead. God… why do people expect others to read their mind? Making the decisions in the relationship has to be split, or else it’s too much pressure on one person.

  8. AvatarAvatarAvatarsays: Kenneth

    She said there was nothing wrong with me, but broke up with me anyway and has since insisted we can only be friends. She didn’t come out and tell me I’m boring but I’ve been aware of the fact that women find me boring for sometime. I’m naturally not outgoing and don’t say much and may be that has to do with it. I’d like to change that. How do I make it happen?

  9. AvatarAvatarAvatarsays: musathegentlesoul

    I’m desperate… she never calls me late at night. LOL

    Will contact you soon for some advice. You really straightened me out the last time but some other issues have come up again. She’s not yet talking breaking up, I just want to make sure it doesn’t get there.

    Did I mention, great post as usual. You’re a blessing!

  10. AvatarAvatarAvatarsays: Runner

    Hi Yangki, I’m a male and I’ve really gotten a lot out of many things you’ve written, but this particular article is insulting. Not only that but it fosters a lot of insecurity. Am I being too boring? Am I being entertaining enough? Just living my life and trying to keep everything together is hard enough, let alone keeping another person entertained. I can understand the sentiments somewhat but really is it my job to keep someone from being bored? And what if I’m bored with always having to create excitement? What if I want someone to surprise me sometimes?

    1. Now you’re fostering my insecurity. Am I being too insulting? Am I being sensitive enough? Just writing an article is hard enough, let alone keeping everyone happy… is it really my job to keep someone from being insulted? And what if…

      Back at you aside, I hear you…(: Forgive me for not apologizing for calling it what it is. If you notice, my articles are for pro-active men and women looking to better themselves and become better lovers. If you feel you’re okay with how things are, good for you! You don’t have to like this article. Just keep in mind reading all my articles — even those you feel insulting — that there are men and women out there who’d rather have someone tell them like it is — and appreciate a gentle kick in the rear.

      My advice for “Am I being too boring? Am I entertaining enough?” STOP worrying about each and every word you say and each and every thing you do. In Part 2 of the article… hopefully, it won’t be too insulting, you’ll find out that being an excitingly interesting person is not SOMETHING YOU DO (say, create, entertain etc.). The DO-ing mentality is most “boring” men’s (and women’s) trap!

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