Are you the type of person who needs to know where your significant other is at, what they ae wearing, what they are doing, who they are with, what they’re talking about, how long they will be seeing that person, what time they leave etc?
Sounds needy, but there is actually another name for it; relationship anxiety.
Believe it or not, relationship anxiety is a reportedly common problem and affects approximately 1 in 5 people.
There are many things that trigger relationship anxiety including lack of attention, feeling that you do not matter (not a priority), relationship uncertainty, past relationship experiences, a fight, silent treatment, the other person taking longer than usual to respond, feeling that the relationship is “too good to be true” or that your partner is all of a sudden acting “too nice” (something must be going on), reading something your ex posted on social media or it could be something as simple as seeing an attractive person, and feeling insecure.
Having an anxious or fearful avoidance attachment style make you more susceptible to relationship anxiety.
It’s important to recognize when you are having relationship anxiety. Sometimes your partner is not even doing anything that should cause you to be anxious, it’s just you projecting your anxiety onto your relationship.
It is also important to recognize when your boy/girlfriend, significant other, partner or spouse is having relationship anxiety especially when they are pushing you away to see how much you will fight for them.
The more you are aware of what’s going on, the faster you can act to calm their anxiety about the relationship, before they break-up with you.
Here is 15 sings identified by Navit Schechter at Netdoctor UK.
1. You frequently worry about what you mean to your partner, what your partner is doing when you are not around and whether your relationship will work out.
2. You worry that your partners feelings for you have changed if you haven’t heard from them in a while.
3. You blow situations out of proportion, easily feeling hurt or angry at minor issues.
4. You don’t trust your partner and are hyper vigilant for signs that they have been unfaithful, dishonest or will leave you.
5. You experience frequent symptoms of anxiety when thinking about your relationship e.g. tension, sweatiness, difficulty concentrating.
6. You frequently check up on your partner e.g. checking their emails or text messages to try and find out what they have been up to.
7. You frequently ask your partner for reassurance about their feelings towards you.
8. You go out of your way to please your partner, at the expense of your own needs.
9. You don’t express your feelings or opinions and don’t feel like you are able to be yourself when you’re with your partner.
10. You make critical comments to your partner or are demanding and controlling.
11. You are aloof, distant or guarded with your partner, withholding parts of yourself from them.
12. You are clingy and always want to be around your partner.
13. You are reluctant to be in a serious relationship or commit to your partner fully as you are scared that it won’t work out and that you will be hurt, disappointed or betrayed.
14. You test your partner’s feelings for you e.g. by pushing them away to see how much they will fight for you (which is then taken as a sign of their feelings).
15. You sabotage the relationship e.g. secretly meeting up with an ‘ex’ in an attempt to feel more in control.