These 12 characteristics of truly loving people describe traits in people with a secure attachment style.
What stands out is that these people have more stable, satisfying and lasting close relationships. This doesn’t happen by accident. This is because of the ways they are, and things they do that make them the most desired relationship partners.
My reason for listing these characteristics of truly loving people is not to pass judgement on anyone who doesn’t have these traits; but as a way to inspire you to work on the things holding you back from becoming a truly loving person.
If you’ve ever wished your relationships were a lot easier; and you could just enjoy the wonderful feeling of being in love without worrying that it could end anytime, this is it;
1. Positive self-concept
They feel they are worth of love and affection just as they are; and fully embrace who they are as flawed beings.
They consciously use their intellect, emotions, feelings, senses and intuition to transform even the most painful experiences to lessons to be learned.
They’re able to feel other people’s feelings because they care about other people’s feelings; and try everything they can to make others feel heard, valued and worthy.
4. Independent and interdependent
They’re self-reliant and have their own identity but also understand, value and thrive in mutual dependence; where people share each other’s lives and function as a unity.
They’re the same person in all their different relationships, environments, and situations. They don’t change their behaviour to gain something or manipulate an outcome.
They’re dependable and trustworthy. When they say they will do something, they will do it; and when you need them, they’ll come through time and time again.
7. Present in the moment
They approach relationships without anxiety, self-doubt, or fear; and as a result don’t try to control experiences and outcomes. Instead they lose themselves in the moment.
Most of the time they respond immediately, and are generous with their time and affection. You never have to worry that they’ll not be available or purposefully ignore you.
They’re warm, easy-going, relaxed, and not easily annoyed, worried, or upset; and as a result effortlessly attract good people and opportunities into their lives.
They have the persistence and tenacity to stay with things to the end yet know when to let go if their time and energy is better used elsewhere.
They know how to get more of what they want from others in ways that help others get what they want for themselves.
Until they’re given reason not to, they assume the best in others and trust others have good intentions. They understand that giving others the benefit of the doubt is a big part of the trust-building process.
They’re always willing to give other people’s ways or perceiving, feeling and being some thought; and capable of taking in new information without judgement.
They are thankful and show gratitude for the simple things that others do for them; and for the little musings and surprises (good and seemingly bad) life leaves along the way.
Too good to be human? Nope. Actually this is “human” in it’s highest form; without all the baggage we collect along life’s journey.
The great news is that all of us have this natural ability to a truly loving person; but only if we work on the things holding us back from having the characteristics of truly loving people.