12 Signs Your Ex Is Friendly And Polite But Doesn’t Want You Back

The lines of communication are open, conversations when you have them are good, and your ex is even open to meeting up once in a while, but you can’t shake off the feeling that your ex is just being polite and friendly and has no intentions of getting back together now or any time soon.

If it helps, almost everyone trying to attract back their ex goes through a period where they are not sure if their ex is still interested in them but just guarded or wanting to take things slow, or if they’re responding just to be polite or if they have been friendzoned.

At times it may even seem like your ex is playing mind games, i.e. responding just enough so you keep you reaching out and make it seem like you’re more into them than they are into you, or breadcrumbing you just for the fun of it.

The most difficult to read are exes who:

  • are generally nice people and don’t want to hurt anyone, especially you
  • will say or do anything to avoid any unpleasantness or drama
  • enjoy the attention even when they’re not interested back
  • passive-aggressive by nature
  • still attached to you in some way but not sure if they want you back
  • think you are now just friends

If you are courageous enough, you could directly and respectfully ask them if they are just being polite, but that can sometimes come off as needy, reassurance or validation seeking, especially if they are just being guarded until they feel emotionally safe to open up to you.

They may feel pressured and pull away or decide it’s best not to have any contact at all. They may also feel that you have not changed, there’s not point in having any hope that things can be better and deicide to move on.

It helps to know some signs that give you a painfully accurate picture an ex who is being polite and friendly but has no intentions of getting back together. Keep in mind that some of these signs overlap with the normal (and expected) signs of an ex being guarded and/or wanting to take things slow. If you are seeing more than eight of these signs, it’s very likely your ex is just being polite and friendly but does not want you back in a relationship.

1. They don’t respond most of the time.

Responses are far and between; a ratio of 3-4 texts from you to 1 response from your ex.

2. Conversations are always one-sided.

When they respond, it’s usually one word or very short sentences. There’s no give and take.

3. Conversations are always superficial.

They don’t let you in on any personal information, and when you ask them anything personal, they avoid the question or stop responding.

4. They rarely initiate contact.

They respond when you initiate contact but rarely initiate contact or initiate it only to share information that is not personal i.e. news about mutual friends or work-related.

5. They avoid places they might run into you.

They find another gym or hangout, and if they think you are going to be in the same party or event, they’ll cancel the moment they find out you will be there. If you ask them if they are going to be at the event, they’ll be vague and say they are not sure, haven’t decided yet etc.

6. They avoid direct eye contact.

They’ll talk to you once you approach them and may even approach you to avoid any awkwardness, but barely make direct eye contact.

7. They’re always in a hurry to get away.

When you try to talk to them (text, phone or in person), they always seem to be in a hurry to go somewhere or do something else.

8. They avoid talking about the relationship.

They are happy to talk about everything else but any mention of the relationship, they shut down, change the topic, or excuse themselves.

9. They don’t respond to flirting.

They’re are uncomfortable with anything that may come across as flirting, romantic or sexual in nature.

10. They keep reminding you “it’s over”.

They keep telling you they don’t want to send the wrong message or lead you on. This is their polite way of telling you they want you to always keep in mind that it’s over.

11. They’re actively dating again.

Just dating again is not always a sign that your ex has moved on. But if they get unnecessarily upset when you mention their dating life, or are overly protective of that personal information, they are politely telling you to mind your own business.

12. They are too polite.

Their politeness is almost uncomfortable. It’s like they are going out of their way to be nice to you out of pity.

Just a few of these signs means just guarded or wanting to take things slow, and that’s normal in the initial stages of trying to attract them back. If you can get your ex to lower their guard down, trust you again, emotionally open up and become emotionally invested , you have a really good chance of attracting them back.

You will also find this interesting: Fearful Avoidant Ex Is Acting Hot And Cold – Gets Close And Pulls Away

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