They say attractiveness resides on a subtle layer just below the surface of your skin, but so does “not attractive.”
I have written many articles on what women find attractive in men and how to become attractive to women, but it is equally important to know what turns women off. So feel free to do some soul-searching, you just might be turning the women off without even knowing it.
1. The Naive Romantic
You have this jaded idealized perception of women that is a result of limited personal experience and self-imposed ignorance. You are constantly on the look out for that “perfect” woman, throwing yourself at women who are obviously not into you or presenting some kind of idealized version of you that you think will meet her notion of “ideal” man – and no one is buying. For some reason most women prefer men with a more realistic perception and a little bit more experience with the opposite sex – and they can tell within the first few seconds of meeting you.
2. The Need-To-Know Addict
You are constantly trying to find out what women want, why women do this, why they react like this, why they say this and why they do that. You are so obsessed with trying to figure out women that if there was a door marked “Hot Women” and a door marked “Lecture About Hot Women” you’d line up for the lecture. And even when you meet women instead of engaging them and having a real conversation you start asking them “What do women really want’? “Why women like bad boys?” or “why do women shave their legs?”. Women look at you like “Do I look like a dating coach to you?”
3. The Superficial Air- Head
You are obsessed with the physical and phony aspects of a woman and reject potential relationships with good women for sadly shallow reasons like not big enough boobs, not bootilicious enough, not long enough legs or hair etc. You move from big boobs to bigger boob or smaller butt to a bigger one with no real and meaningful emotional connection with the women you meet or have a relationship with.
4. The Sexually Invisible-Man
If sexual energy were measured in terms of light, you are generating at the level of a 20watts bulb. You may have the looks, the clothes, the car and even the job and money but that’s it – no sexual vibes coming from you. Women walk past you into the arms of the next jerk who is nowhere as good looking, educated or “sensitive” as you are. You are just not there – nonexistent sexually.
5. The Wet Blanket
You see yourself as a professional, business person, a politician, an activist, a teacher, a doctor, a parent, etc, but not as a sexual professional, sexual politician, sexual doctor, or even a sexual parent. You are so paralyzed internally by the pervasive anxiety of putting the “right” front that your interactions with women are like boardroom meetings they’d rather avoid. Your “businesslike” persona comes across as uptight and not much fun to be around.
6. The Sexual Adolescent
You confuse everything with sex and only see women as suppliers of sex. Your interactions with women have only one goal – “what can I get in exchange for sex”. And when your sexual needs are not met, you react with the emotional tendencies you learned in childhood and never outgrew – sulking, withdrawal, violence, manipulation, nagging, neediness, clinginess, etc. which turns the women off.
7. The Sophisticated Delusional
You are fully tooled up with the “right” attitude, latest techniques and sociological research about women. You are a smooth talking salesman type, good at presenting rational (and sometimes convincing) arguments. However, you make such a show of yourself that you end up with a reputation as a show-off with no real substance to back up your bragging.
8. The Angry Reject
You have a lot of repressed anger or extreme bitterness over the seemingly endless hoops you have to jump through to get women to notice you. You have a very difficult time accepting that women ultimately can and do say “No” to men. Your resentment and anger show on your face as a “pinched” look, and your body language is a walking neon billboard that says “I hate women”. The women give you attitude, “we hate you too”.
9. The Scared Spectator
You love women and are fascinated by them but you are also so intimidated by them that you are awkward in your one-on-one interactions with them. In fact you are so afraid of women that you’ve talked yourself into believing that all the women you meet will be hostile to you, and so you don’t even try to approach them. You just watch, admire and lick your wounds (and desires) from a distance. They in turn dismiss you as “lacks confidence”.
10. The Village Clown
You get so nervous around women that you can’t resist the impulse to resort to clownish behaviour. Some women might find you hilariously entertaining but in general your joker image and penchant for uncontained “humour” does not endear you to the women you want to be in a relationship with. Most women do not take you seriously – and a majority worry about how they are going to introduce you to their friends and family. Women want a man who can be respected by their friends and family.
The reality is that they’ll be women who’ll find you not attractive because you are bald, not tall enough, not handsome enough, not rich enough or successful enough and sometimes there is nothing you can do to add a few inches here and more hair there. But there are many things you can do to become so attractive to women that you will not know what to do with yourself.