12 Sure Signs It Is Time To Let Go Of Your Ex

12-signs-your-ex-is-an-ex-for-a-reason-let-it-goI am all for never giving up on love and on a relationship if there is still something you can do to make it work. In my opinion, people who find people they claim to love easily disposable aren’t usually the best partners themselves.

But there is a point at which you have to be honest with yourself; the point at which you have to accept that whatever you do, however hard you try, the relationship isn’t going to get better. Letting go and moving on is much healthier than trying to make it work.

1. The relationship and/or the effort of trying to get back your ex has changed you into the person you don’t recognize – the person you don’t like.

2. You are constantly tiptoeing around your ex out of fear of pushing him/her away. You can’t even be yourself or show how you truly feel.

3. Your relationship was emotionally or physically abusive.

4. You were not treated like you were important or special by your ex while you were together, and you still feel just as unimportant or insignificant.

5. It’s months since your broke up and you are still fighting, calling each other names and collecting allies.

6. Your ex says the break-up was all your fault and he/she doesn’t think you’ll ever change, and you believe him/her.

7. Trying to get back your ex has taken over your life, is affecting your job or business, and/or you have been told by more than one person that your preoccupation with your ex is unhealthy.

8. Your relationship and/or efforts to get back your ex has soared almost all your other relationships, and/or turned family and friends against your ex.

9. Your “fights” have gone public – twitter, Facebook, Blogging, etc. and you are shamelessly airing dirty laundry.

10. You are stalking your ex electronically or physically.

11. Your mental and physical health has gotten worse because of the break-up/trying to get back your ex.

12. The police, your pastor, parent or some other persons of authority has had to intervene.

A relationships is supposed to add to the already wonderful man or woman you are, but if being in a relationship is taking away more from you and making you less than who you are; if trying to hold on to the relationship leaves you feeling emotionally spent, if you feel drained by it or afraid to find out what would happen if you were to change it, then it’s best to walk away now, before it completely destroys you.

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  • I turned into a needy, rude, cruel person while I was with my ex and I still sometimes feel guilty for the part I played. I am learning to forgive myself and I hope that he does well in his life. I am glad we didn’t continue our relationship. I didn’t like who I had become. I am now the confident, beautiful, silly girl I once was and I am so proud of myself. Thank you for all your advice!!

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  • Such an amazing blog. I am really impressed! I came here looking for ‘how to get my ex back’. But slowly and deliberately I ended up at this article and number 4 made me realise it all. Thanks. I too am all for salvaging, growing and reigniting. Once I choose for someone I want to make it work. But no. 4 and the conclusion hit me like a hammer: I have to move on. Thanks for the great content and thanks for your angle: this website showed me if I really wanted her back and invest. Now I see that I really shouldn’t. Because I was ok, but after 2,5 months I’m turning into someone I am not.

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    • Good for you…

      No.4 is a big one. Unfortunately most people trying to get their ex back don’t realize that break-ups on their own don’t necessarily change a relationship or how you will be treated.

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  • Yangki, thank you for such a great analysis! I was struggling and torn along the way because of my unrealistic hope that things would change if I insist, which only demonstrates most abovementioned signs in the end, and how much I hate the person I had become-full of guilt, mistakes and low self-esteem. I only decided to walk away until I stepped back and realized the sign 4…felt being led away. The past “we” could have made a better relationship, yet the present “he and I” won’t have the future. I’m not holding onto the illusion anymore. Thank you again!

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    • I am sorry to came to you walking away. Recognizing one has to honest with oneself and do what is right by her/himself however much you want a relationship to work out.

      My hope is that you meet someone who treats you the way you deserve to be treated. In the meantime, take care of yourself, even spoil yourself a little….

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