10 Signs Your Ex Is A Loser (How to Spot A Loser)

These signs will help you tell if your ex is a loser much faster; before your ex turns you into a loser yourself. Don’t settle for a loser ex, date or relationship partner. You can do better.

What makes your ex (date or partner) a loser?

I happen to believe that we all are good “enough” just the way we are. Sure, we all have room to improve and be better human beings, partners, lovers, etc. but deep life changing transformation begins with recognizing that we can always be better, do better.

“Loser” does describe a certain mentality that men and women bring to a date, relationship, marriage or partnership. I’m not talking about the shy, introverted, goofy, geeky, “nice guy/girl”, not-so-attractive, unemployed, etc. stereotype image many of us have of a “loser”. You can be all of the above and still have a “winner” attitude in relationships.

I’m talking about men and women who seem to have it all together: looks, money, job, home, swagger, social network, charisma etc,; but still have a “loser” mentality when it comes to relationships.

If you are trying to attract back your ex, These signs will help you tell if your ex is a loser.

How do you know your ex is a loser?

1. Losers hide who they really are or at least think they are hiding. You always get the feeling “hmm… something isn’t quite right here!”; and you are right!.

2. When something goes “wrong”, losers unload all their frustration and anger like there is no tomorrow. They don’t care who (or if they) gets hurt or embarrassed. They just lose it!

3. A loser ex says “I want you to miss me” because they’re desperate to attach to someone, anyone. This is someone who is not self-ware enough to realize that they need to find their own happiness; before they can be a healthy partner to you or anyone.

4. Losers love to put you down to make themselves appear more attractive and to make you feel no one else can love or want you. You can do better than your loser ex.

5. A loser ex has no real relationship-building skills or tools to use to attract you back. All they have is psychological tricks, mind games and manipulation. How can you have a healthy relationship, let a lone a relationship; with someone who doesn’t know how to be in or create one.

6. A loser ex is all over the place. They have no plan on how to get you back; and throwing everything at you to see what sticks. Next time your ex says they want you back, ask them what their plan for attracting you back is; and you will spot a loser ex much faster.

5. Loser types have an uncanny ability to always turn things around so that they’re the “victim”. They never take responsibility for anything, let alone apologize.

6. A loser ex only “plays nice” when they have something to gain or have the upper hand. When they can’t have their way, they gather their toys and run (cut off contact), or try to sabotage you so that “everyone loses”.

7. A loser ex let’s you initiate all contact and conversations, arrange dates etc. Initiating every thing is okay in the initial stages because you are the one who wants them back. But if your ex is responding and engaged, but still doesn’t initiate anything, your ex is a loser type. Losers are happy with the passive role in the relationship because they don’t have to make decisions or stand accountable.

8. A loser ex treats you with disrespect and disregards your feelings. They were probably like this when you were together; and you ignored it because you thought they’d change. They didn’t, and you can clearly see they aren’t trying to change.

9. A loser ex texts you or calls you when they are drunk to tell you how much they miss you; or what an awful person you are. They won’t remember what they said the next day; or will blame it on alcohol. If they can’t control their drinking problem when you are broken up, don’t expect anything to change when you get back together.

10. Loser ex doesn’t take an interest in what’s important to you or has going on in your life. They’re laser focused on one and one thing only, to get you back; and the only way they want to be in your life is if you take them back. This is a clear message that your ex doesn’t really care about you or what you want, your loser ex only cares about what they want.

Don’t settle for a loser ex, you can do better than your ex

When you attach yourself to an ex who is a loser, there is a very high chance that they will turn you into a loser yourself. You find yourself doing things you never thought you would do; things that make you hate yourself. And when you fail to get back together; which inevitably happens with a loser ex; you take the loser mentality into your next relationship.

If you recognize yourself as having a “loser mentality” the response is not to excuse, justify or defend the behaviour (typical loser mentality) that is hurting your ability to have the kind of relationship you want. The response is to ask yourself, “What can I do to become A BETTER ME?” — not “perfect”, just better.

RELATED:

10 Sneaky Signs Your Ex Is Manipulating Your Emotions

10 Red Flags You Should NOT Get Back Together With Your Ex

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  1. says: Arianna

    I love your website. You cut straight to the point without having your readers click to the next page.

    Good up the good work ma’am and Happy Holidays!

    Arianna