If you’re here reading this, chances are you still have strong feelings for your ex, and want them back .Chances are also that you can’t stop thinking about your ex; to a point that you have become obsessed with your ex.
Grief, sadness, sense of loss, thinking about an ex and sometimes longing for an ex are all a normal part of processing break-up pain, hurt and emotions. Nearly everyone experiences this. But when you spend an excessive amount of time thinking about your ex and the break-up; and craving or tying to get back your ex, you have moved away from normal grief to obsession.
Some people are more prone to becoming obsessed with an ex than others. These people usually have an anxious attachment style. If you are not aware of attachment styles, I have included a link below that describes an anxious attachment style.
An anxious attachment style makes you needy, clingy and predisposed to worrying, overthinking and overanalyzing relationships. When a relationship ends, you become obsessed with thoughts of your ex. Sometimes the obsession with your ex doesn’t end with just thinking about your ex.
Here are 10 signs you are obsessed with your ex.
1) Difficulty accepting the break-up
You know you’re broken up but your brain hasn’t yet caught up with reality; it feels just like you are still together. You can’t bring yourself to get rid of reminders of your ex. Even your phone and computer screen still has the photo of your ex; or of the two of you together.
2) Over-contacting your ex
Repeatedly texting, emailing, or calling your ex to appoint that you are harassing your ex is obsessive.
Two or three text messages or calls when an ex is not answering is not a sign that you are obsessed with your ex. But four five, six unanswered messages; or texting your ex when they have made it clear they do not want contact is a sign you are obsessed with your ex.
3) Feeling like your life is over
You completely enmeshed your identity with your ex and wrapped yourself in your ex’s life. The end of the relationship feels like the end of your life. You feel like without your ex, you have nothing to live for.
4) Checking your ex’s social media
Monitoring your ex on social media is consuming most of your time. Try as you can, you just can’t help yourself from wanting to see what they are doing and with whom.
5) Wanting revenge
The obsession is from feeling that your ex owes you. You put so much into the relationship, feel somehow “cheated” and want your ex to pay in some way.
6) Stalking your ex
You keep trying to see, meet or run into your ex because you’re convinced that it’ll make them want a relationship.
7) Selective memory
You think about only the good parts of the relationship; ignoring why the relationship didn’t work.
8) Feeling overly jealous
You are consumed with thoughts of your ex moving on and finding someone new. The thought of your ex with someone else sends you into panic mode, and makes you feel inadequate and worthless.
9) Fantasizing about getting back together
You keep telling yourself your ex loves you and must miss you even when the reality is that your ex isn’t showing any interest in you. You are also willing to do anything and everything your ex says they want you to do even if it’s at the expense of your emotional health or financial well-being (and/or may hurt you in someway in the future).
10) Difficulty letting go
The very idea of letting go of your ex makes you anxious and depressed. You also have a pattern of staying too long in bad relationships.
If these signs that you are obsessed with your ex apply to you, I suggest getting professional help. Obsession with someone makes you extremely vulnerable to emotional abuse by a selfish, narcissistic and manipulative ex.