When you are madly in love with a guy, it is easy to ignore all the hints he is giving you that tell you don’t expect commitment anytime soon.
Most guys are pretty honest about commitment but many women stay in the relationship hoping that he will come around in time. I’ve worked with women who have hang in there for several years (on-and-off) until the day he actually says “I do” to someone else. Even then, they keep hoping that he will leave her at the altar and come looking for them.
There are many warning signs men give out but here are just a few most common ones. See if you can identify with any one or several of them.
1. He tells you, you are beautiful, wonderful, loving, kind, compassionate etc. and the guy who gets you will be very lucky.
Translation: Sorry babe, that guy is not me.
2. He makes decisions alone and avoids direct questions about his future. If he ever mentions anything about the future, that future does not include you.
Translation: You better be out of here before that time.
3. He is still in frequent and regular contact with one or more of his ex-girlfriends (or wife) and will not include you in the friendship or introduce you.
Translation: You are not “number one” in my life.
4. He is still angry at his ex-girlfriends (or wife), blames them for the problems in the relationship and sees himself as a victim of “women”.
Translation: You are a woman, and you are my problem too.
5. He tells you he cannot commit until he has a better job/career and is sure that he can provide and take care of a family.
Translation: My job/career is much more important than a relationship with you.
6. He is very affectionate and sensitive when it’s just the two of you, but in front of his friends and family, he is insensitive, distant and even disrespectful towards you.
Translation: I couldn’t care less what they think of you as a potential wife or mother of my children. You will never be.
7. He tells you he wants to take things slowly, meet other woman and have a kind of “open” relationship.
Translation: I think there is someone out there who is a better match for me.
8. Six months into the relationship and he is still not sure about what he wants.
Translation: I am not really that into you.
9. You tell him you love him and he tells you not to get emotionally “attached”.
Translation: You really expect me to say that I love you too. Please!
10. He tells you face to face that he is not interested in settling down any time soon.
Translation: If you want get married, go find yourself someone else.
Sometimes you know deep down that the relationship is going nowhere, you want to end it and move on but because you and this guy have such a strong soul connection you feel stuck. One part of you says “go” another part says “but he is my soul mate”.
Well, he could be your soul mate but not all soul mates are there to stay for a lifetime. May be your soul has learned what it wanted to learn from that relationship and is ready to move on. Or may be each of you needs to do their soul work separately and if it’s meant to be you will later on merge again.
You will never know until you really take time to be honest with yourself and look at your relationship for what it really is.