Emotions That Make Your Ex Feel Attracted To You – No.7: Hope
Unlike many of the other emotions that make your ex feel attracted to you; hope is about the future. Hope implies that there is the possibility of a better future. And when things seem uncertain, confusing and overwhelming; hope is that vague light in the distance.
Hope is also an expectation for a certain outcome. The outcome you expect is to get back together; the outcome your ex expects is for the relationship to work better if you do get back together. It’s so easy to be hang up on the outcome you expect; and forget that getting back together depends on your ex feeling that the relationship can work. If your ex doesn’t see how the relationship can work better, you are not getting back together; even with the best timing of contacts, and engaging conversations.
To make your ex feel attracted to you enough to want to try the relationship again; they must be able to see the vague light in the distance. They must feel hope.
But how do you make your ex feel hope? You provide them with a vision. A vision gives your ex a glimpse of what is possible. The kind of vison that works with an ex is not texting them, writing them an email or letter; or sitting them down and telling them your plans for a better relationship. The vision that works with an ex is one they can see in how you interact with them.
If you’re not already doing, it start today putting purpose to your words and actions; and live by example the future you envision with your ex. Make sure you use the 3-1 positivity ratio to communicate your vision of a better relationship.
The 3-1 positivity ratio simply means it takes three positive experiences to offset one negative experience. For every heart-wrenching negative emotional experience you endure; you need to experience at least three heartfelt positive emotional experiences that uplift you.
This means that for every experience that made your ex feel that the relationship can’t work; you need at least three heartfelt positive emotional experiences to make your ex start feeling hope again. Sometimes this means being the cheerleader for the relationship (literally!); and doing your best to be positive and not give up so easily. You can’t expect your ex to feel hope; when you keep telling them that you want to give up or are giving up.
If you need help communicating emotion No.7, or the other 9 emotions that make your ex feel attracted to you; I’m happy to work 1-on-1 with you to make sure the targeted emotion is coming across right; and creating the desired impact.