10 Signs Your Ex Is NOT Coming Back (They’re Done With You)

If you still love your ex, it is be hard to accept that they are not coming back. These 10 clear signs your ex is not coming back will help you decide if you should keep trying to get back together, or accept that it is over. Your ex is not coming back and you need to move on.

Each relationship is different, and should be looked at on case by case basis. If however more your situation has 8 or more of the sign you ex is not coming back, it is over. Stop wasting your time, and/or making a fool of yourself.

1. Your ex wants nothing to do with you

In many of my articles and in my book, I advice people trying to get their ex back not to give up on first contact. There are many reasons why an ex may not respond to your first or even second contact. They may:

  •  Not have received your message.
  •  Be too busy and will respond at some point.
  •  Have received your message and wondering why you contacted them (especially if you haven’t been in contact for while) and taking their time to respond.
  • Waiting to see if you will contact them again as proof that you are “serious”.

But if your ex has told you in clear words that they don’t want contact and don’t care if they ever heard from or see you again in this lifetime, your ex wants you to leave them alone. Continuing to contact them just proves you are needy, pushy, disrespectful and annoying.

2. Your ex insists it’s them and not you

Sometimes it’s really your ex and not you. But if your ex despite all your suspicions that there may be other reasons they ended the relationship insists that this is the only reason they’re breaking up with you, and refuses to explore any other “reasons”, they’re intentionally denying you any opportunity to try and fix things. If someone says “the problem is with me”, what can you do about it? Nothing.

Your ex knows that if they give you a “reason”, you may try to change their mind, or do everything to try to make the relationship work — something they don’t want you to do.

3. Your ex is mean to you (and/or angry) most of the time

Break-ups can bring out the “mean” in even the sweetest of us. But if after two months, your ex still calls you names, talks down to you, publicly ignores you or treats you insensitively, you might want to ask yourself if it’s worth the pain and humiliation.

If you cheated or did something really bad, an extended period of being “mean” to you may be justified. But if it’s nothing to do with cheating, lies or any other kind of betrayal, constant mean treatment is not an encouraging sign.

I’ve heard men and women desperately in love say it is better to be yelled at than be totally ignored; that it means that there is still some “feelings” there, and they are right. Even abusive and toxic relationships have “feelings” that mimic passionate love.

Feelings of anger and/or resentment only create more toxicity. Your ex has invested interest in keeping things toxic for as long as possible. They don’t want to civil or be nice to you because they don’t want you back.

4. Your ex says they will never trust you again

Trust unlike other relationship qualities are about safety.  Not many of us want to be watching our back around someone we love. But trust once broken is one of the hardest things to rebuild. It’s often the last thing to come back when trying to attract back and ex, and requires you showing you can be trusted again over and over.

If your ex still loves you, they will give you opportunities to prove that they can once again trust you. But if in every other conversation your ex brings up trust issues, or directly tells you the reason they do not think you will get back together is because they can not trust you, one, you are doing a bad job at rebuilding trust, and two, your ex’s mind about “who you are” is made up. The chances that they will take you back are very small.

5. Your ex will only talk to you on social media

Soon after a break-up most exes want to keep some distance. Texts only, social media, messaging or some other “remote” mode of communications may be the only way you can have any conversations with them. But this should only last 1 – 2 months maximum. If after 3 – 4 months, you are still unable to get your ex to a more “intimate” form of contact (phone call, video chats, face-to-face meetings), chances are your ex is just stringing you along for their entertainment or revenge.

Someone who wants a real relationship with you and wants you back will get tired of the cat-and-mouse game very quickly, and will want more intimate communication (i.e. text messaging, phone conversations, face-to-face- meetings) .

6. Your ex responds but is just being polite

Most of us can tell when someone is just being polite or nice. They feel that not responding when someone reaches out is rude, and/or don’t want to hurt you more than they already have. Most will respond but in a non-engaged way.

If all of of your exes responses are ‘yes’, ‘no, ‘ok’, even to questions that require a longer response, they are telling you, they’d rather you do not talk to them.

Someone who wants to talk to you, will make an effort in some way or the other. They may not ask you questions about yourself but will at least try to answer the questions you ask them. They’ll also respond to a text or call you back even if it’s days after. They will at least respond because they care to keep you in their lives.

7. Your ex says you’re “only friends” 

Your ex asking to be friends is not necessarily a sign that they are not coming back. Being friends with an ex sometimes leads to getting back together. But there has to be effort on your ex’s part to be friends.

If your ‘friend’ (ex) is avoiding seeing you or spending any significant time in your presence. They cancel plans they agreed on, you are not ‘friends’, even if they say you are.

Granted, you are not in a relationship, there is no obligation to meet up or follow through on agreed plans, but someone if is intentionally avoiding you and giving you excuses that do not make sense, it is because they do not want to give you ‘ideas’ or create false hope.

It’s important to note that this sign alone does not mean there is no hope. If it’s in combination with 2 -3 other signs, then it is as a strong a sign as there can be.

8. Your ex is in “serious” relationship with someone else

This one is a tricky one, since your ex being with someone else doesn’t necessarily mean you have no chance. The relationship may be a rebound or they’re just exploring their options.

But if your ex has been with the same person for over a year, or your ex has been in at least two rebound relationships and none of them is with you, it’s obvious that getting back with you is not on top of your ex’s “to do” list.

9. Your ex keeps telling you to move on

Most exes when they end a relationship think they are moving on and will tell you to move on too. That’s normal and expected. At the time, they don’t believe the two of you can get back together and moving on is the right course of action.

In cases where your ex is still leaving the door open, or not yet decided on whether they want you back or not, talk about moving on stops after a few weeks or months. But if 3 – 4 months later, or if in every other conversation your ex feels the need to tell you they want to move on or that you should move on, and even gets upset that you are not moving on, they are serious that they do not want you back.

10. You feel like you are stuck in time

If you’ve been trying to get your ex back for a long-long time and there is no sign of interest on their part, it’s time to accept that your ex is not coming back.

There is no time limit on how long it takes to get your ex back. I’ve worked with men and women who got their ex back in a week and others in 3 years. But if you’ve been trying to get back together for so long and nothing has changed or things are getting even worse, it may be that your ex is never coming back.

But before you make that conclusion, make sure think deeply about what led to the break-up. What behaviours are you willing to change to make the relationship work better for both of you. Think about what your ex has been complaining about for a very long time. Can these things be changed or worked on?


How Avoidants Leave Open The Option To Reconnect With Exes

Signs Your Ex Is Moving On (Has Moved On) But Still Responding to Texts

Dismissive Avoidant Attachment And “Longing” For An Ex

Do Dismissive Avoidants Quickly Move On After A Break-Up?

More from Love Doctor Yangki Akiteng
My Ex Is Talking To Me Again, Does It Mean He’s Still Interested?
Question: My ex and I are talking again. We were fighting constantly...
Read More
Join the Conversation


  1. says: Sonya

    Somehow, I stumbled on this site and article and it makes me sad that I found it too late. My ex never wants to have contact with me again. I acted very badly when he broke with me, very needy, angry and verbally abusive at first and cutting off all contact when he did not give in to my demands. He tried to reach out to me a couple of times, but I was hostile towards him. He had no choice but to move on. Now I look back at my behavior and I hate myself. He wasn’t perfect, but he treated me better than any man ever did. I am 38 and have had many failed relationships. Only now reading this site that I am beginning to see that the problem has been me all along. I am seeing a therapist next week and hopefully will overcome my issues. Thank you for this insightful, helpful and lifechanging site!

  2. says: Kajin

    Yangki, what if your ex says it’s over and he is not changing his mind but does not want you out of his life, is there still a chance? I guess what I am asking is, are there cases where options are limited to only two, get back together or not?

  3. says: Venessa

    I read this site and wish that I had tried harder. But I didn’t have the maturity to choose my reactions and words very carefully. He decided he does not want to try again because we are not compatible and nothing we do will work. I just wish I changed sooner.

    1. says: Love Doctor, Yangki C. Akiteng

      Compatibility is a tricky reason for a break-up mainly because 1) it’s subjective and 2) people change. Two people who were compatible when the relationship started may become incompatible over time.

    2. says: Carole

      My ex has made it very clear that he does not want me to contact him so I will not try and be pushy. I am not angry, I am disappointed that he decided not to try to work through our problems, but I accept everyone has their own way of grieving and may be he will contact me in the future.

      1. says: Love Doctor, Yangki Akiteng

        I don’t think that you have any other choice but accept his request. You probably pushed too hard and that’s why he asked you not to contact him.

  4. says: Mormonman

    Yangki, I have been reading your articles and have your dating ex book. One thing I have realized is that getting your ex back is not easy. It’s more complicated than what no contact people tell you. Im trying your way and feel so much grown up already!

    1. says: Yangki Akiteng

      Grown up already? I like!

      You are right. Getting back your ex is more complicated than some people think. No contact offers a simplified solution:

      1. Don’t Contact your ex for x number of days.
      2. Reach out with some corny “I have something to tell you” script, accountability statement or video.
      3. They’ll be curious and respond, and Voila!

      Emotionally intelligent people know that’s not how you cultivate trust, emotional safety and security in someone who has been hurt, is still hurting, is suspicious, has lost feelings of love, is resentful or angry.

  5. says: Sue


    I recently reconnected with an ex of 5 years. We chatted via text, and ultimately talked on the phone a few times. He reminisced about the good points of the old relationship, even sent me a picture of a plant that I’d given him 7 years ago, to show me he still had it. Then he asked me out for drinks. I tried for a good year after we broke up to reconcile. Eventually I gave up. I’m wondering if he’s telling me what he thinks I want to hear or if this is legit. How do I schedule?

  6. says: Ginger

    Six weeks of “no contact” and my ex has not contacted me. I think he is respecting my wishes not to contact me for sometimes but I’m not sure anymore. Yesterday was my birthday and he didn’t send me a birthday card or text. There’s nothing worse than someone you still love not caring about you.

    1. Have you considered the fact that your ex might be thinking the same thing… there’s nothing worse than someone you still love not caring. He may not even know that you are hoping that he contacts you. He may think you’ve moved on and afraid to contact you only to be rejected. It goes both ways.

  7. says: Martti

    Thank you this positive site, the others are about mind games and tricks which are not for me. As per you advice I have reached out to my ex. She responded to the first text 3 days later. I waited a day then replied and she responded the same day. I replied the next day and again it took her 3 days to write back. It’s been like this for two weeks, is this a lost cause? Your advice worked before and I got her back, but I messed up again texting a woman I met at the gym. My ex understands that there is nothing going on she read the text from the other woman and it was asking for advice with her live-in b/f. She has forgiven me but we are not back together.

    1. says: Yangki Akiteng

      If this is a one time thing and there are no other problems in the relationship, she’s probably still processing what happened and needs time to resolve it within her mind.

      If this has happened before (you texting other women), or if there are other issues in the relationship, she might be rethinking if she really wants you back.

      Either way, keep lines of communication open, and see where things go.

  8. says: Zeraya

    He told me various reasons why we broke up, but did add that it was him, not me. We have maintained some contact and a few days ago he finally acknowledged that we both share the blame. I was not emotionally ready to hear it and may have blown any chance in the way I responded. I should of followed the advice in your book more carefully and not started talking about the past relationship. He responds to my texts but is a little more distant now. Do you think there is still hope now that he admits he is partially to blame?

    1. You are right that talking about the old relationship may have caused him to pull back. As advised in the book, you can’t completely avoid making mistakes. Almost everyone makes at least one or two. It’s how you course correct that makes the difference.You should be able to get back on track using the advice in the book. It’s not completely lost, yet!

  9. says: laura

    Yangki i just want to say thank you for this site. everyone has been telling me that its over and to move on. i read your signs your ex does not want you back and it gave me courage to contact him. we were not in contact for 11 days. he did not reply right away and your site said to give him time to reply. three days later he replied and he said he did not think he would ever hear from me again and was happy i reached out. he wanted to reach out many times but thought he hurt me badly and i was still angry with him. i said i was hurt but understood why he needed to breakup. he replied back within 3 minutes. all our conversations have been positive so far. i have signed for coaching for 2 weeks and will pay for more sessions if things go well. how do i contact you to set up my appointment?

  10. says: Leah

    Yangki, do you also do coaching for people who want to find out if there is still a chance? My ex says he does not want to get back together but sometimes he acts like he still has feelings for me. He told me he still cares about me but does not want a relationship. We were together for 3 years and are broken up for 8 months. I have read many of your articles and you are the only coach I have found to be unbiased and compassionate. Also like you, I believe in love and honesty not mind games.

    1. says: Yangki Akiteng

      Unbiased and compassionate…hmmm. I’ll take that! Thank you… 🙂

      I think what you need is more a consultation than coaching. Here’s a link to how to set up a consultation call.

      We will talk about your situation and see whether you should try to get him back or just move on.

  11. says: Andyg

    If your ex sends you a text from out of the blue, and for no obvious reason, is it a sign that he or is missing you and wants you back. Should I respond?

    1. says: Yangki Akiteng

      It’s a sign that he or she wants to open up lines of communication, which is good, but it does not necessarily mean your ex wants you back. But it could also simply be a one time thing, or a mind game.

      Yes, respond. It’s the only way you are ever going to find out why they contacted you out of the blue.

  12. says: Sassy

    I did no contact for only 30 days and now my ex has a new g/f. He has told me to not contact him because it will upset his new g/f. Can you imagine that? He’s known her for like 2 weeks, we were together for 3 years. He said it is my fault because he tried to contact me and I did not respond. How can he be so selfish after hurting me? Yangki, despite all this I still love him and miss him, but I am hurt again his rebound relationship and how he is treating me.

    1. says: Yangki Akiteng

      You have every right to feel the way you feel. That said, what did you expect him to do after you did not respond to his attempts to reach you? Put his life on hold while you do your no contact? Don’t you think that’s selfish too?

      Also you don’t know if his new relationship is a rebound. It may stick. Please see: Facts About Rebound Relationships.

  13. says: Sarge

    She does not want any contact. What makes me very sad is not being able to send her a text message anymore. I used to send her one every morning just to wish her a happy day, and one every night to wish her sweet dreams.

    I’ve done some coaching with Yangki and I can now see how this could be a positive experience for me. I was focusing so much on all the things I couldn’t do anymore and not looking at the things I can do. Right now, what I can do is work on making myself the best I can be, whatever happens in the future happens.

  14. says: Khai

    Thank you for this list. My ex and I recently got into it and while he finally apologized for how he treated me, he said he wants nothing to do with me.

    It’s a cycle where he says that and then I text months later. We see each other and then we break apart on bad terms again. As hard as this is, I just have to accept it’s over.

  15. says: Jamie

    Hello Yangki C. Akiteng,

    I have a huge scenario and left so confused with what is happening with my ex.
    Is there anyway I can contact you personally for help or advice?

    Hope you see this thank yoj

  16. says: Alex

    Yangki, im going thru what you say is damage done by no contact. I did no contact for 28 days then contacted her. she reply 2 times then she stop responding. i have sent 4 texts but no response from her. last one i sent was 2 days ago. my heart tells me not to give up but at this point i dont know what to do.

    1. says: Love Doctor, Yangki Akiteng

      I hear you. Unfortunately I don’t know what to do either. Have you tried asking for help from “No Contact experts”? I know… they’ll probably tell you to do more no contact which I don’t think will make any difference.

  17. says: Jerry70

    Yangki, how do I get my question featured like the ones you have in your articles? My situation is complicated, I feel like I need to give some background.

    1. says: Love Doctor, Yangki C. Akiteng

      The “featured” questions are from posted comments. When I read the question and think that it’s not something I have addressed, have addressed but not extensively, or is a question that has been asked many times, I create an article for it, so that many others can see it and benefit from it.

      If you feel that it’ necessary to give a detailed background of your relationship, then consider signing up for a phone session. You can explain everything and ask me all the questions you have.

  18. says: Michael

    I have been brokeuo with my Ex boyfriend for four years, but I still love and I have told him many time since we brokeup I have been asked him to give a chance he resist ,even as is 2016 I told him I want him back he ignored my text on WhatsApp and also my messages .do you think he still loves me ..please help

    1. says: Love Doctor, Yangki C. Akiteng

      Technically, it is not NC when she’s told you not to contact her. She initiated NC first, you are just respecting her wish.

      Will that change in the future? I don’t know. For now, it is what it is… she does not want anything to do with you.

  19. says: Starcie

    My ex has sex with me and invites me to his house but does not want to talk about us. He gets angry when I tell him I will not come to his house again and says fine. Then next day he calls to apologize, some days he send me flowers and some he takes me to dinner and after we go to his house and he is very loving and attentive. Do you think he is using me? Also why does he get angry then plays nice with me? I don’t understand why men do this to women? Is it love?

    1. says: Love Doctor, Yangki C. Akiteng

      Men do many things to women and vice versa, but this is not one of them. So let’s not play ‘victim’ here.

      Of course he is using you, and you know it. You also know exactly what is going to happen when you go to his house. First time it happened, I’ll give you a pass for that, we all can be fooled. But second time, third… time? uh-uhm.

      And why does he get angry then plays nice? Because it’s working for him.

      Is it love? I don’t know, but it’s definitely sex.

  20. says: Jo

    I recently broke up with my ex about 3 weeks ago. I acted very needy and now I’m worried that actions have done so much damage that there may be no chance for us to recover and get back together. I told my ex that I needed to work on myself for at least 3 months, and she replied “take as much time as you want because we are never getting back together”. What do you think, do we still have a chance?

    1. Since you voluntarily took yourself out of her life, you’ll have to wait 3 months to find out if you still have a chance or not.

      I do think some damage was done either before the break-up or after so much that she’s saying you are never getting back together. But I have seen exes change their minds even after saying “never”…

      See my article: Do Exes Really Ever Come Back?

  21. says: Keisha

    Yangki, my ex and I have been broken up for 1 month after dating for 7 months. He broke it off because he was too busy to date (he started his own business 2 months ago). He says I’m perfect the way I am and he does not want me to change anything, but also does not want me to wait for him because he does not know how he will feel about me in a few months. I love him very much and I’m willing to do my fair share of the work but I can’t do much if he is too busy to date. Do you think he’s just that into me and using being busy as an excuse?

    1. It is possible for someone to be too busy to date. It’s also possible that you’re perfectly fine but just not for him. The other possibility is that the timing just isn’t right.

      It comes down to whether you have the patience to wait (knowing that it could work or not) or if you want to move on sooner than later.

  22. says: Chris

    Yangki, I think you are wrong. I know in some situations no contact rule should not be applied but I think the no contact rule is the best ammunition you have for the fight.

    1. I hear you and will try to respond as respectfully as I can.

      Let’s start with your mindset, which unfortunately is the mindset of most “no contact” advocates.

      Why do you need “ammunition”? Are you fighting a war or trying to get back with someone you say you love? Are you attacking your ex or trying to attract him/her back?

      It’s the “war” mentality (him/her against me or them against us) of “no contact” advocates that frankly worries me and makes me question the motives, motivations and relationship abilities/skills of people who swear to this rule.

      When you think of getting back your ex as a fight that you need “ammunition” for, you’ve already lost. Bringing “ammunition” to the fight may help you “win” the fight, but not “win” back love.

      But if you want to use the “no contact rule”, go ahead! It’s your relationship after all. Just don’t come back to me after shooting down (with your ammunition) your chance at love asking me… Yangki, what do I do now?

    1. says: Love Doctor, Yangki Akiteng

      The longer you are apart, the easier it is for someone to move on. No body likes being single and alone for too long.

      That said, most people don’t just “move on” that quickly after a 5 year relationship, unless things were so bad that they detached long before the breakup.

  23. says: Broken2

    I already feel like I lost her. I did not mean to disconnect from her but the breakup was still fresh and we were both hurting. All I wanted to do was to give both of us some space to heal and show her I have an understanding on why she is hurt. I wanted to regain her trust again but she has made it very clear she wants to move on and have no contact between us. I don’t know if staying in contact would have changed anything but I must have pushed her away by disconnecting.

    1. I don’t know if staying in contact would have changed anything either. What I do know is that by the time someone feels no contact is the ONLY option left, things are most likely damaged beyond repair.

      Most people who have a strong relationship foundation tend to stay connected even when they break up; those that have no foundation or have a weak one, tend to disconnect (no contact) and drift further apart.

  24. says: Lisez

    I was dumped back in January without any warning. Completely blindsided. I have been reading all kinds of advice on how to get your ex back and this is the only advice that I can truly say is based on love. Every other advice out there seems to treat breakups as a personal attack or a game of winners and losers. I may never get my ex back but Im truly grateful for all the happy times we shared. Sometimes feelings fade away and relationships end. There is no reason to hold it personally against the other person. The best thing is to accept it and move on with your life.

  25. says: Byron

    It sucks to go from being so close to someone to not having them in your life at all. But it’s the choice she’s made for me. She wants no contact and says everything that had to be said has already been said and she needs a clean break.

  26. says: Tijean

    “Sometimes an ex who enjoys the attention you are giving him/her and the confidence boost from knowing you are not “over” him/her, will give you just enough rope to keep your hopes up, but things never move beyond a certain point. When you start to move away, he/she comes after you, but when you turn towards him/her, he/she draws the line on how far you can come. This can go on for years,” this is my exact situation. Except that we both do it to each other.

    1. says: MotherT

      I’ve been trying to contact my ex for the last two months. I don’t know if he’s blocked my number or if my email has been set to spam or he sees it and just chooses to ignore it.

      1. says: Love Doctor, Yangki Akiteng

        It’s probably all of the above, or he’s following the 3-month no contact rule. Just stop trying to contact him. If he’s ignoring you, he’s probably getting a thrill from it.

  27. says: Decka

    I lost my temper and said things I should never have said and she told me to get out of her house and never to talk to her again. I think that this time it’s over for good.

    1. I don’t know if it’s over for good, but when they say not to contact them again, it’s never a good thing.

      At this point you have no choice but to respect her wish. She may (or may not) contact you at some point, but if she doesn’t, try to contact her.

      In the meantime, work on that temper!

  28. says: Bill

    Yangki, my ex told me she doesn’t love me anymore and wants nothing to do with me. I’ve waited for intervals of two weeks to contact her and every time she has responded. But it’s obvious she’s still very angry. She’s unfriended, blocked me and deleted me from all access to her. So the only way I can contact her is via text. I was thinking of not contacting her for at least two months.

    1. Some exes can be so angry that they can’t stop themselves from responding — angrily of course. But it’s negative attention you’re getting. But again, some people don’t care if it is positive or negative attention, they just want attention!

      I don’t think going “no contact” will change anything. But if you feel that’s what you want to do, it’s your decision.

      May be “no contact” will help you move on. The fact that you are posting on signs “you’re ex does not want you” tells me, you know deep inside that it’s probably over.

  29. says: pepe

    We had a very bad breakup and sent each other some pretty nasty texts. She adamantly refuses to talk to me and has threatened to call the police if I contact her. What do I do?

    1. This is why I really, really don’t like “rules” when applied to relationships. On one hand, don’t contact your ex for 3 months… and on the other hand, if your ex hasn’t contacted you after x weeks, then they aren’t interested.

      Relationships don’t respect the time limits we set on them. Those who act like they can “regulate” relationships don’t know what they are doing. No wonder they end up with nothing.

  30. says: JimB

    I wish I had trusted my gut and not done no contact. Before my ex was responding to my texts but after 4 weeks of no contact she says she does not want me to contact her because she’s moved on.

  31. says: Eddy P

    I finally had the courage to end a relationship that was very toxic. In the course of 2 years we broke up more than 6 times. Heated arguments were followed by a breakup, a few weeks of no contact and she would text me saying she loves me and asking if I forgive her. We get back together and things would be really great for a while then we are back to arguing a lot. We were both addicted to the storm of the fight and quiet that followed. Reading your articles has helped me see there is another way to have a relationship, and it begins with me. So thank you.

  32. says: Krauss

    Like most, I was raised in an environment that hindered my ability to communicate my feelings. This has been reflected time and time again in all my relationships. When she left me due to some misunderstandings, I realized I had to change. Unfortunately it’s too late, she wants nothing to do with me.

  33. says: Hurt&confused

    I still don’t really understand what happened or why she broke up with me and it is driving me nuts. We’ve been broken up for over a year and I thought I had moved on but the feeling that I was left without closure have come up again. I thought I dealt with them but now I feel like I am stuck. Any advice for me?

    1. I’m sorry, you feel stuck. It’s especially harder to move on when a relationship ends when you never expected it to, and have no idea why things ended.

      Unfortunately, I can’t give expert advice for your situation. I’m more experienced in helping people get their ex back than helping them move on. You might want to seek the help of a therapist. A year is a long time, there may be other “past issues” here that are making what you are going through even more painful — and difficult to move on.

      Again. I’m sorry, I’m not of much help.

  34. says: Rolli

    I met my ex through a matchmaker and we’ve been on and off for four years. We always ended up working things out. But this time he says he is not interested in the relationship again. He says he’s done with the drama and wants to move on.

  35. says: Haribot

    I feel like am emotionally back where I started 6 months ago. She says she feels guilty for not being able to return my feelings and doesn’t want to take advantage of me. I’m really angry at myself because I put so much energy and effort on trying to get her back. I’ve decided to go no contact again until she is completely out of my life.

  36. says: Scoan

    I did the no contact thing for two months and basically ended grounding myself. She has ignored all my texts and deleted some without reading them.

  37. says: Stephanie

    This article really spoke to me. We were together for 8 years and while I’m still deeply in love with him he no longer loves me back. We haven’t hard any contact for almost 2 years but I still think about him everyday, not that I want to. I can’t make the feelings go away even though I know that there’s nothing I can do to change his mind.

  38. says: Rae

    I’m going through the same exact thing and I feel exactly how you feel. My boyfriend of 6 years broke up with me 3 months ago. I still cry everyday and miss him terribly. A part of me just won’t accept it’s over. I went to his place and begged for him to give us another chance but he said the love is no longer there and he does not love me anymore.

    I truly love him and gave it my all. Someday things will get better and we will be completely over them. Just try to be positive and take one day at a time.

  39. says: Norma

    I feel like I’ve done everything wrong to try to get back my ex. He broke up with me with no explanation to why and I pushed him farther away when I pressured him for closure. Now he wants nothing to do with me.

    I’m devastated knowing there is nothing I can do. I’m really scared that I’ll never find somebody as special as my ex. I don’t even feel like dating ever again.

    1. I feel your pain. Fortunately, the pain eventually decreases, although the feelings of love may remain for ever.

      Believe it or not, you will find somebody as special as your ex, may be even more special because he will want to spend the rest of his life with you. For now, don’t even think about dating again. Focus on healing and getting better. The rest will follow.

  40. says: Lisa

    My ex broke up with me 18 mths ago but continued to see me once or twice a week on the side. He left me for someone else and moved her in within a month. This was after we were together 7 yrs. She found out. Now its once a month and a call here or there. I give up.

  41. says: Wendy

    Yangki, what about if he says he wants nothing to do with you but checks up on you on social media? Does it mean he still wants you?

    1. It means he’s not completely “over you”. But since he’s not reaching out to you, it’s hard to tell if he’s checking up on you because he wants you back, if he wants to see who of you starts dating again first (some exes can be jealous even when they don’t want you back), or he’s doing it when he’s bored and has nothing else to do.

  42. says: Ardeth

    The message you wrote in your article applies to my situation. My ex fell out of love. He gave me no explanation as to why. He said I was perfect just the way I am, and should not change a thing. But at the same time he no longer wants to be with me.

    I don’t think I will ever get a true reason as to why he lost love for me, but this article has at least given me some peace in a time of confusion and heartbreak. Thank you.

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