It’s a different set of emotions when your ex tells you they are seeing someone new from when you find out from Facebook, a mutual friend, accidental run-in etc that he/she is seeing someone new, or has gone back to an old ex…
Most normal people would react to the news in some form or the other. You’d be completely “zoned out” not to have some kind of emotional reaction.
But when you are not in control of your emotions, your reaction will be impulsive and sometimes over-emotional. Some people even react without knowing the facts about what is really going on.
Not only do they make complete fools of themselves and earn the title of “the crazy ex”, they keep making things worse and worse because they can’t bring themselves to “just stop digging” the hole they are in.
Like I said, some kind of ‘reaction’ is normal and even expected. “Crazy” is not normal.
You know that too, but in the heat of the emotion you don’t care about what’s “normal” and what’s not.
Well, if you have some self-respect you should care… or at least learn how to not over react in ways that leave a negative last impression.
“…but I don’t care. He/she moved on as if what we had meant nothing. I don’t want to ever talk or see him/her again…”
Okay…but what about your self-respect? Dignity? You don’t what to ever see that again either?
It’s easy to say “I don’t care” when your the emotions are talking. But months later (forget months, days later) when you calm down, you are going to feel “stupid” (if you have some sense of shame) for the way you acted.
But may be not… may be you have an overly bloated ego. If so, never mind me. Life itself will dog you until you stop and rethink how you are approaching it.
But if you are trying to get back your ex… how you react to situations that arouse intense emotion can mean the difference between hope and no hope.
This is one reason I wrote “It’s Just A Break-Up”…. for people who ruin their chances because they can’t control their emotions.
Your emotions should NOT run the show. Your emotions should NOT get in the way of what you want. Your emotions are supposed to be your ally, not your foe.
It’s time to learn how to respond to situations that arouse intense emotion in a way that’s appropriate to the situation, and protects your best interest while at the same time protecting the relationship.
But since you are human… there will be… you know… a few of those “moments”…
At least learn how to pull yourself together, and regain your self-respect and dignity before too much damage is done.
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