Question: I’ve been looking at your articles and really like your unique and fresh perspective on sexual energy and masculine and feminine confidence. But there’s one issue I experience that I need some insight into.

I’ve been the nice guy before, who’s often told “I like you as a friend.” I realized that by avoiding sending out sexual vibes and not showing romantic/sexual interest in women I’m interested in, I am not seen as sexually desirable by these women. Now this is where I’m really confused. When I do put out the sexual vibe, women tend to shy away, get upset with me or just avoid me altogether. On more than one occasion, I was called “creepy.” This puzzles me. I know guys who get dates relatively easily, and when women are not around, they are talk about women as if they were slabs of meat. But when they are flirty and show sexual interest in women, they are sexy, while when I do the same things, I come off as “creepy.”

May be you can explain to me how this whole sexual energy, sexual vibes thing works and what makes some people’s sexual vibes more desired and welcome than others? As far as can tell, it is because I am thin and women like more athletic/muscular men. When a man a woman thinks is good looking sends sexual vibes, it is sexy. But when a guy who is not so good looking sends the same vibes, he is “creepy.”

The Love Doctor’s Answer:  Sexual energy is a very powerful force – more powerful than most of us even realize. In terms of man-woman relationships it’s where attraction begins and a relationship grows and develops. And I’m not just talking about the urge to have sex.

Some men and women — may be because of what they were born with (nature) or how they were raised (nurture) or through practice (personal experience) have learned to harness and use the power of sexual energy to create attraction and enhance their relationships. But some men and women just haven’t.

The guys you talk about are seen as “sexy” to the women because they are  generating and vibrating plenty of sexual energy and sending that energy out via flirting and showing sexual interest. That’s what is causing the sexual attraction

Athletic/muscular men and good looking women particularly seem more sexually attractive because we humans are genetically programmed to seek out the healthiest and strongest genes, and athletic bodies and good looks are the quantifiable visual aids we use to help us determine who has the “good” genes. By singling out certain features and characteristics, we subconsciously bestow the “sexy genes” title on people believed to have these features and characteristics. In essence, what we’re doing is basically giving them permission (public license) to generate and transmit sexual energy more freely as well as consciously. This in turn increases their sexual magnetism which in turn makes them even more “sexy.”

The rest of us feeling like we can’t “compete” with the “lucky ones” consciously or subconsciously suppress our sexual energy. Some of us even feel fearful, guilty, uneasy and uncomfortable with our sexual energy hence the “creepy” vibe. The fear, guilty and discomfort with sexual energy can also manifest in a “sleazy”  or “slutty” vibe (untamed/unruly/untrained sexual energy). The person is kind of “sexy” but it’s all over the place in a messy and immature (even perverted sick) way.

Bottom line, training yourself to generate your sexual energy freely (without fear, guilt, unease or discomfort) and using it in a focused manner not only makes you “sexually magnetic” but more centered, grounded, flexible in mind and body, and more relaxed – allowing more sexual energy to flow freely.

These related articles will help you begin your journey towards true sexual empowerment.

Are You Afraid of Being Sexually Attractive?
Accessing Your Own Sexual Mystical Inner Guide
What REALLY Makes Some People Magnetic – What is their SECRET?
Why You Have Charisma But Still Have Difficulty Connecting On A Romantic Or Sexual Level
8 Behaviors That Instantly Boost Your Sexual Visibility
Eye Seduction Secrets – There Is More To Eye Contact And You May Doing It All Wrong!
Improve Your Sexual Eye Contact With This Fearless Sexuality Exercise
How To Do The Sexy and Mysterious Seductive Gaze