Understanding Your Sexual Body’s Appeal

understanding-your-sexual-bodyWe can all agree that most of us are more attractive to the opposite sex when we dress “sexy”. But just how much skin is too much skin?

Some of my male friends and clients say female bare skin especially parts that should traditionally be covered – even just a little bit – can trigger sexual thoughts instantly.

Personally, I believe that too much skin by itself is not necessarily sexually interesting because it does not necessarily involve a sensuous or excited or sexually interested state of mind, body and spirit of the person who is nude. A nude person with little expression or body language is just a naked body. Anatomy books are not erotic; they are not sensuous A stripper who performs before an audience with little apparent interest in what she is doing and looks like she is bored, tired, uninterested, spiritless, nervous, or just anxious to pick up their paycheck is not at all “sexy”, unless one is stimulated by his own imagination.

Even in a culture such as where I was born and raised where women go about their daily chores topless, men hang out their super endowed privates in full frontal view, and where more skin is in view than it might be in most other cultures, this is not an erotic experience for the person used to this culture. Similarly nude beaches or nudist camps lose their eroticism once the novelty wears off and once you realize that people, just by being nude, are not thereby necessarily insinuating they are interested in sex, in sex at the time, or in sex with you.

In other words, how much clothing you wear (or don’t wear) isn’t as nearly important as what your body says. Physical characteristics and how the body is dressed may be important and everything, but how a person carries or presents him or herself is what animates a person and gives them real substance. The state of mind, body and spirit behind any piece of clothing is often more important in sexual value than is how much skin is or isn’t displayed.

Before humans clothed themselves, the body played the primary part in the biological necessity of sexual attraction. Human beings were programmed more simply. The naked body was on display twenty-four seven, and so sensuousness – that supreme aphrodisiac – was all our ancestors relied on. But as we learned to wear clothes and “dress up”, our bodies became merely a servant of our ego-driven concerns.

Too many people today are so desensitized in their bodies, exiled in their intellects, dominated by emotions or imprisoned by their defences and insecurities, that they are passing through life without ever knowing the miracle of fully inhabiting a vitally alive, sensuous and sensitive body; let alone know how to refine their basic and fundamentally primal sensuousness to project sexual attractiveness.

For me the issue isn’t how much skin is too much skin, but what does your body “say” when it “speaks”? Does it have a voice, a particular tone, or tenor? Does it give a fair and empowering voice to your deeper emotions, your sexual interest, your sexual desires and desirability?

Natural attractiveness may be a given, but many of us can increase our sexual attractiveness just by being able to be and live in our body, and by learning how to use the body expressively as an intelligent communicator of ideas, emotions, sexual interest and desire.

The secret is to know how to optimize our sexual energy at any given moment, as well as turn the verbal and non-verbal hints offered by the other person into a unique, unusual personal and emotional experience. Once acquired, these qualities are available for life.

The best part of all… you can switch your sex appeal on and off at will.

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