Question: My ex broke up with me 8 months ago and refuses to speak to me. She has made it very clear that she’s over me and wants to move on. I have read many of your articles on rebound relationships and understand that I need to be on my own for while and not be in a serious relationship. Since you advice not playing mind games which I don’t want to do, my question to you is, should I be upfront and tell her I’m not ready for anything serious right now but I am open to sex. Any suggestions on what I should say?
Yangki’s Answer: “Open to sex”… sounds like a brothel ad… 😉
If your intentions are to hang out, have sex and see what happens with time, you might as well say it because it’s going to come up anyway
Something along the lines, “I want you to know that I’m not looking for anything serious right now. I just want to have fun — good companion, interesting dates and sex — and see what happens. I hope this isn’t a problem for you because I want to continue seeing you” is a respectful thing to say let alone an upstanding thing to do.
A right-to-the-point approach is especially hip and really cool for today’s busy — and sometimes impatient — men and women with little time for immature mind games.
Men and women with a similar attitude and outlook will find you contemporary, up-to-date and free-willed go getter for whom physical intimacy is not such a big deal that you have to be manipulative to get it.
And this does not apply to men only. The popularity of the TV series “Sex and the City” just proves that what is good for the goose is good for the gander. As long as the gander understands that just because you had sex doesn’t necessarily mean the two of you are emotionally involved. There is a difference between being horny and being in a relationship.
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