Just curious… 1) is he still at your side or …

Comment on My Boyfriend Doesn’t Want To Break-Up? by Yangki Christine Akiteng, Love Doctor.

Just curious… 1) is he still at your side or was it just for that evening and 2) do you have to pull the “jealous card” every time he doesn’t pay attention?

No question about it, making someone jealous (if they have that streak in them) can work, sometimes. But wouldn’t it feel great to know someone loves you because you’re so special and not because his “competitive juices” have been squeezed?

I think there is a difference between love and “ego impulses”. I personally would be so turned off by a man who didn’t seem to pay attention and then suddenly does so because “I made him jealous.” It says to me it’s all about him and not about me. But that’s just me… (: I want to believe I have more value than a “pretty feather” stroking someone’s ego.

Yangki Christine Akiteng, Love Doctor Also Commented

My Boyfriend Doesn’t Want To Break-Up?
James, you’re a very smart guy… the jealous card is game-playing.

What your ex said made me go “oouch!” That must have really hurt. I don’t blame you for not “fogetting”. It’s hard to forget that “kick” when you’re down. Forgive… yes, forget… mmm… not! I say that from experience…(:


My Boyfriend Doesn’t Want To Break-Up?
Unfortunately, the pull-push dynamics happens a lot in situations such as yours. I wish I had a lot more information on what you’re doing to “reconnect”, then I’d be able to advice you on how to move through this phase of getting back together.

As for telling him… unless it comes up in conversation, I do not think there is need to bring it up now. For all you know, it could just be your guilt that is making you see what is not even there. Also what do you hope to accomplish other than make yourself feel good? Forgive yourself and make a commitment not to do it again, that’ll make you feel good without stirring up stuff.


My Boyfriend Doesn’t Want To Break-Up?
That alone would not necessarily make me leave. It’d certainly make me look at such a man with different eye lenses, may be that will eventually make me leave but it’d depend on a lot many other factors going on in the relationship.

That said, if the thought of making someone else jealous ever crossed my mind (let alone feeling giddy because someone else is jealous over me), I’d have to take a good look at my self-esteem. To get to that level there are two things happening 1) one’s self-esteem must be too low or 2) one has never experienced what true love really feels like and mistakes someone else acting out of insecurity and ego for love.

Whichever way you see it, not a good sign!


Recent Comments by Yangki Christine Akiteng, Love Doctor

Why Your Relationship Feels Like Too Much Work
Leave him for good and move on with your life or try to make things work out with him is a decision only you can make. I don’t believe in making decisions for others that they should be making for themselves. As a coach, I can only help you with whatever decision you make or whatever side you’re already leaning towards. Making decisions for you isn’t empowering you to OWN your life — and relationship (be responsible!).


At What Point Do You Stop Trying To Get Back An Ex?
If it makes you feel good to have “closure” contact him and tell him you’ll not be bothering him again. But that’s all what contacting him will do, give you “closure” (hopefully!).

Waiting for him to contact you is unrealistic. They say the best predictor of future behaviour is past behaviour… he didn’t contact you for 2 months and when you contacted him he didn’t seem interested and hasn’t responded to any of your 3 contacts, what makes you think he’ll contact you?

My suggestion is that you let this go… meaning you stop actively trying to get him back and focus your attention elsewhere. You can try again later if you are still up to it, but for now more contact is useless.


Should I Wait For Him to Contact Me?
It might explain why some women seem to all be sharing or recycling the same men.


Should I Wait For Him to Contact Me?
There’s that school of thought and I respect your position. However, I’m not saying women HAVE to approach men. Some women like you obviously have a problem with it, and that OK.

I think that if a woman wants to take the initiative and own the power to choose who she dates instead of complaining about men not approaching her, or about meeting only losers (who approach her), why try to take that from her with statements like “unless she’s desperate?”

We all should do what we have to do and let others do what they want to do. Makes life easier for everybody… (:


So Why Is My Ex Texting Me Now?
My advice… Grow up and stop playing mind games.

Engaging and pulling away — as in no contact then contact, then pulling away, then contact, then not returning calls etc — is destructive for any relationship.

One of you has to step up and be the adult, if not, it’s going to be like this until the feeling of love and liking is completely gone — for good!


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