Question: Love Doctor I really need your help. Lately my girlfriend of four months and I have been having some relationship problems. It began when I complained that she was spending too much time at work during the week and wanting to hang out with her friends more than she does with me.

Looking back, may be I should not have complained but I was the only one trying to stay in contact, asking how she was doing and arranging for us to spend time together. But even when we were out on a date she seemed distant and was either texting her friends or just not interested in conversation with me. The last time we were out together, I tried to kiss her but she said she just didn’t feel like it. This is when I lost it and told her if she wanted to break up with me she should just go a head and do it.

Yesterday she texted me “we should talk”. I have not responded because I know in my heart that she wants to break up with me. Should I agree to meet her and talk this out or may be write her a long letter saying I am sorry I put pressure on her complaining about her not spending time with me?

The Love Doctor’s Answer: You could try writing the letter but to be honest with you, I do not think it’ll change much. If she wants to break up with you, she will break up with you whether you write the letter or not.

My suggestion is to meet with her and talk this out. It may just be that she wants to “talk” about the relationship and the problems you have been having or she may indeed want to break up with you. And if what she wants to do it break up with you avoiding this talk is just prolonging the inevitable.

Like most people you may be thinking that if you avoid “the talk”, the break up won’t happen. You are wrong. If someone wants to end the relationship they will end it whether you talk or not. There are just so many ways to end a relationship and technology has made it even easier.

At least with the old fashioned “talk”, you are there to talk about it (as best you can) and to answer questions and explain yourself.

I’m not saying it’s going to stop the break up (if that’s what she wants to do) or that it’ll hurt less. Break ups any way they come are stressful and hard. But it’s better to face reality than hide from it. And if you ask me, it is best done sooner rather than later.