The more you “try to forget’ about something the harder …

Comment on Help! I’m In Love With Two Women by Love Doctor, Yangki Christine Akiteng.

The more you “try to forget’ about something the harder it is to actually “forget” about it. I don’t even think that you can really “forget” about this other woman. She was part of your life’s journey, that’s permanent in memory.

It might help ease the pain if you try to focus on trying to work on your marriage because that seems to be the reason the grass appears greener on the other side.

I don’t know you or your wife, and I certainly don’t think she’s “blameless” (it takes two to make a relationship work), but your own words (“Everyime my wife complains I wish I had not left her”, “Help me learn to forget her”, “God help me ease this emotional pain”) tell me that you feel more like a victim of your circumstances than a creator of your reality.

Until you own up to being the creator of your own reality, you’ll always feel powerless and helpless.

You married young, there are MANY things you both could learn — together — that can spice up your marriage and make it feel fresh again. But if neither of you is willing to give your marriage an honest try, then get a divorce.

Love Doctor, Yangki Christine Akiteng Also Commented

Help! I’m In Love With Two Women
Friendship with the other woman while you are trying to work on your marriage might not be a good idea for the simple reason that your loyalties, energies and emotions are split between the two. That is a lot of stress for anyone since you can’t focus on either relationship. You may even end up with neither.

Part of being “an adult” is that you have to accept that sometimes you can’t have everything you want. You have to make tough choices.


Help! I’m In Love With Two Women
Although I err on the side of monogamy, I hear you!

If you don’t mind roughing it, you could move to Africa… Google one of those “tribes” where women can marry more than one man, and have “divorce” parties after kicking him to the curb…LOL

But shhhhh… don’t tell the “moral police”, they’ll send you to hell.


Help! I’m In Love With Two Women
You are right about that Joe… it’s YOUR decision. I don’t think you are right on the consequences though. So many others are going to live WITH the consequences of the decisions you make, including the children. I’m not saying choose what’s best for the children, I’m saying, it’s NOT all about you when children are involved.


Recent Comments by Love Doctor, Yangki Christine Akiteng

3 Reasons Staying Friends With Your Ex Is Good For Getting Back Together
That’s a very legitimate concern that’s handled in Dating Your Ex
1) how not to get locked in the “just friends” zone (page 300 )
2) physical contact when trying to get back together (page 308)


10 Signs Your Ex Does NOT WANT You Back
If this is a one time thing and there are no other problems in the relationship, she’s probably still processing what happened and needs time to resolve it within her mind.

If this has happened before (you texting other women), or if there are other issues in the relationship, she might be rethinking if she really wants you back.

Either way, keep lines of communication open, and see where things go.


Tips On Creating A (Good) Plan For Getting Back Your Ex
You are just ¼ into the book. It’s best to read the whole book first to determine where in the process you are in then make a decision based on how much momentum you have built/progress made. In fact, if you read further, you will get to where I talk about going out on dates.


10 Signs Your Ex Does NOT WANT You Back
You are right that talking about the old relationship may have caused him to pull back. As advised in the book, you can’t completely avoid making mistakes. Almost everyone makes at least one or two. It’s how you course correct that makes the difference.You should be able to get back on track using the advice in the book. It’s not completely lost, yet!


Do Exes Really Ever Come Back?
Thanks, I do the best I can.

Yes, it’s a good idea… 🙂 There is enough momentum to propel you forward. I too believe that you will get back together, it’s only a matter of time (if you don’t screw it up).


Written By
More from Yangki Akiteng

Can You Get Back Your Ex When You’re The Only One Trying?

Trying to get your ex back is hard enough. Trying to get...
Read More