Comments on: Is She Just Scared Of Her Feelings For Me?

By: The Love Doctor

The Love Doctor — Mon, 01 Mar 2010 06:09:39 +0000

I believe it's a good thing to know oneself. But if it’s not working for you, it doesn’t hurt to think that there may be another way to look at something or do it without changing who you are. I have another post that’s worth looking at titled, “If I love a Woman Why Can’t I Tell Her?”

By: Karlson

Karlson — Mon, 01 Mar 2010 05:55:12 +0000

I’m a pretty forward guy and tell women how I feel. That’s been mistaken for too needy and weak. I’ve even been called a “nice guy” but I’m not going to change who I am. I’ll keep looking for that woman who appreciates a guy who wears his emotions on his sleeve. I absolutely have no interest in immature women who want guys who play hard to get.

By: The Love Doctor

The Love Doctor — Thu, 25 Feb 2010 19:26:04 +0000

The original question was about “is there hope” but I’m glad you asked “where do I start?”

You’re right, given where things are between the two of you right now asking him what he wants in a partner and relationship will make him uneasy again. In addition to the usual, “hi, how are you?” or “what are you doing?” type of questions, ask some “emotional questions”. Start with something he shared with you when you were together and you know he deeply cares about and then build on that. Just make sure you say it in a way that you’re believable. If he senses any manipulation or dishonesty on your part, he’ll never trust any future attempts by you to connect on an emotional level and may even completely close the door to any possibility of getting back together.

By: Kelly

Kelly — Thu, 25 Feb 2010 19:06:31 +0000

Our relationship ended because I expressed too much love for him. He said it made him uneasy since we had only been dating for 6 weeks. I should have listened to what he was trying to say but instead I just ended it. I have since apologized for overreacting and although we’re not back together he still responds to my emails and texts. I want to do what you’re advising here. I guess where I’m confused is how do I start asking him all those questions about himself? I can’t ask him what he wants in a partner and relationship because I think it’ll make him uneasy again.

By: Alana

Alana — Thu, 25 Feb 2010 19:03:31 +0000

I find men who are a pleasure to talk to very attractive. If I ask a guy a question and he doesn’t answer, I assume he is hiding something or has nothing to say about it. Either way, I lose interest. At the same time I don’t like men who blabber nonstop. Men who talk too much are just not attractive.

By: The Love Doctor

The Love Doctor — Thu, 25 Feb 2010 16:58:17 +0000

Different women want different things….

The mistake some men make is assume women are a homogeneous species and therefore want the same thing. No wonder they find themselves running around in circles. It’s good to have a general idea of what the “majority” of women want but if you’re hoping to get into a relationship that is fulfilling on all levels, the question you should be asking is “what does this individual woman want?”

By: Sigalis59

Sigalis59 — Thu, 25 Feb 2010 16:50:58 +0000

This is what I don’t understand with women. If you don’t tell them you love them all the time, they leave because you’re emotionally cold. If you tell them you love all the time, they leave because you’re emotionally weak. What do women want?

By: Musathegentlesoul

Musathegentlesoul — Thu, 25 Feb 2010 16:29:17 +0000

And I thought women want to know everything about me because they want to annoy me. lol

Kidding aside, I am not used to being asked so many questions about myself and tend to wall out. All my ex-girlfriends complained about it. It may explain why I’m still single although I have all the qualities I think women look for in a guy. I recently figured out if I don’t open up, I’ll be alone playing computer games for the rest of my life.

Great post again.

By: The Love Doctor

The Love Doctor — Thu, 25 Feb 2010 15:25:12 +0000

I don’t think the reason women lose interest is because you told them everything about you. The reason they lose interest is because what you told them about you is “boring”. Boring people live boring lives and talk about boring things in a boring manner. That’s what causes someone to lose interest. And it’s not just women who lose interest once they perceive you as “boring”, men do too. But “boring” is relative. What may be “boring” to one person may be interesting/exciting to another. So either you try to connect with women who are interested in the things you’re interested in or learn some ways in which to make conversation - any conversation - interesting (confidence, human warmth, humour, body language etc). I thought you might find these useful: What Women Are Saying About Men, Men Are Saying About Women Are You Screwing Up Your Dates - Too Serious or Playing Too Safe, Perhaps?

By: Jimmy

Jimmy — Thu, 25 Feb 2010 14:41:09 +0000

I agree with what you say about paying attention to someone but my experience with women is that if you tell her everything about you she will no longer be interested in you and she will not want you because she will think that you are “boring”.