It’s interesting to see how much emphasis is placed on looking sexy, feeling sexy and of course delivering “power performances” in the bedroom.
We spend so much money on plastic surgery, designer clothes and the gym. We also spend so much time peering though sex manuals, mastering seduction techniques and on pornographic scavenger hunts. But ironically we are not looking any sexier just more plastic. We’re not feeling more sexually charismatic, just more manipulative. We are not experiencing deeper intimacy, just having more meaningless sex.
We say we’re are more sexually liberated, but the reality is that we’re more out of touch with who we really are as sexual beings.
Whether you know it or not, accept it or not, the way you see yourself sexually affects every aspect of your life. It affects how you walk on the street, how you talk to your boss, how you respond to stress, how you relate to others and even how you pursue success.
People with poor sexual self-image tend to overcompensate in those areas they are more confident in. They are on a constant drive for accomplishment and external approval. They often try to belittle or down play their sexual expectations and have a tendency to resist acknowledging or expressing their emotions. The extroverted ones over project and exaggerate their sexual desirability. They try to assert themselves and their presence by doing everything in “larger than life” style. But their “macho” or “sexy” self-image is the opposite of what is happening on the outside.
People blessed with enormous charm and sexual charisma on the other hand don’t flaunt it with low necklines or ass-hugging jeans. They may not even have a charismatic personality and are not necessarily seducers but everywhere they go men and women fall under the spell of their seductive aura. They attract the opposite sex like bees to honey. It is simple hard to resist getting a discreet glance and sometimes we don’t even know why. These people don’t seem to age and skin colour or race has no bearing on the power of their magnetism. They kind of command attention, affection and respect without asking for it. They look like they are truly happy in their sexual “being-ness”..
So what is this mystical thing we call sexual magnetism?
Sexual magnetism is often confused with “sexy’ or the “exotic” – whatever these words mean. Many think it is something you do, something you buy with money, something a sexual partner gives you, or even something you get from travel to some ‘exotic” part of the world.
Sexual magnetism is not about a perfect body, bigger boobs or bigger “tool”. If you do not believe me, tell someone who thinks they have big boobs or big organ that you do not think that “it” is that big anyway, and watch their self-image take a downward dive. Not to mention that there are some men and women who are less-endowed in the looks department but ooze sexual magnetism.
Sexual magnetism is not about what you wear or the kind of car you drive. Wearing a secret little number underneath your clothes, or driving a sleek car can help boost your sexual confidence but only when you already have it. Take away the lingerie (eventually you have to take it off anyway), or the car and all that is left is the same inadequate insecure small self.
Sexual magnetism is not something you get in Mexico, Thailand or on an African Safari. I know some of you are thinking, “who are you kidding, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie got their African “juju” on that Safari to Africa.
You can go to these “exotic” places with an uptight, single-minded and sex repressed attitude, and return even more confused and paranoid because the “sexual openness” you found there will have rattled your beliefs about sexuality and sex.
Sexual magnetism is not about learning sex techniques or bedroom tricks/ While knowing what to do in the bedroom just like lingerie or sports car can boost your sexual confidence, it doesn’t necessarily means you are sexually magnetic.
Sexual magnetism is not even necessarily about sex.
Sexual magnetism is more than sex appeal. People with great looks, incredible talent, immense power, extreme wealth, above average intelligence and even the notorious “bad boys” can all have sex appeal, but they are not necessarily sexually confident and do not necessarily have sexual magnetism.
Our sexuality is a natural, healthy, life-long part of being human. From the time we are born to the time we die, we are sexual beings with sexual bodies, whether or not we are engaged in a sexual act or behaviour. It is an integral and powerful influence on our mental, emotional, physical and spiritual well-being.
Sexual magnetism is therefore about being comfortable in with your sexual mind, in your sexual body and, with your sexual spirit.
It is the dynamic, free and spontaneous response of your own inner man or woman. It is about inner power, and that power comes from knowing who you really are, what’s right for you and what you can bring to any encounter, whether it be sexual, social or business.
It is about walking into any situation knowing that you ‘rock”, voicing your opinion knowing that it will be highly valued by others, asking for what you want without fear of rejection or failure.
It is the ability to truly let go and experience life full. It is about being fully present body, mind and spirit (moment to moment).
By simply giving yourself the permission to generate enough sexual energy without being embarrassed, ashamed or consumed by it, you can have the sexual charisma that is yet beyond your wildest imagination.
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