I’m Angry No Woman Wants Me

after-20-years-divorce-icant-find-a-woman-to-dateQuestion: I read your article 10 Types of Men Women Don’t Find Attractive and the “Angry Reject” accurately describes my current state of mind and experience with women. After 20 years in a miserable marriage, I was really hoping to meet someone real and honest. But instead I’ve found that women just want my profile and ready to analyze it in 1 New York minute. They want it all and they want it now. It’s affecting the way I look at life and dating in general. It’s very hard to shake it off when only the hot men who can take a new woman home every night and dump them the next day. Even if I wanted to be a player I would never pass. At 46, I’m not interested in sleeping with 100 hot women I just want one woman for one life.

I’m angry at how much time I’ve wasted only to discover that a woman is superficial and superficial women piss me off. I am also tired of being rejected and I am tired of being alone. I’m even avoiding going out to gatherings because I dislike the discomfort of going alone and staring at all the other happy couples. Life sucks when it seems everyone in the world is having relationships and sex and you’re left out.

Yangki’s Answer: I sympathize with what you’re going through, but unfortunately there is nothing you can do about how the affairs of the world are played out. The only person you can change is you. The only person you can do something about is you.

You hit it right on with “The Angry Reject’s” un attractiveness. Being angry and feeling sorry for yourself isn’t going to change anything – or anyone for that matter. And like it or not, what you feel on the inside reflects on the outside and is felt by the very women you’re trying to have an honest real relationship with. It’s hard to miss the negative vibes coming from someone who is angry and frustrated.

Another way to look at what you feel is “wasted time” is, you’ve learned that most women are after your profile, there are women who are superficial and superficial women piss you off. You can’t learn that kind of stuff in a classroom, it comes with direct experience.

This may be hard for you to believe given how you feel right now, but there are real and honest women out there. You might want to try meeting different women in a few different places.

Don’t be too focused on “finding the right woman”, think of dating as an exploratory adventure. Have fun with it. And when you meet someone you think you might like, steer the conversation to what and how you want things to progress, even slow it down to your pace. Get to know the person slowly and gradually build a relationship.

I know this is not the kind of reply you expected – you probably expected me to say “yeah. what’s wrong with women?!”, “What’s wrong with this world?!” I read that “comfort in numbers” women bashing frustration on many forums but all it does is thicken your negative vibe and make you more angry, bitter and unattractive. It is sort of a self fulfilling prophecy.

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2 Comments

  • Yangki, I’ve spent weeks on your site and blog and I must say, I’m very impressed. I’m 51 and after my second divorce 7 years ago, I decided to travel the world and see how other cultures view relationships and marriage. I was briefly in East Africa for a year before moving to India where I met a very special woman. I have learned so much and grown so much since meeting her.

    One thing I learned both in Africa and India, and which seems to be the core of your message/philosophy is, love is simple, people are complicated. Our western culture seems to operate on the opposite i.e. people are simple, love is complicated. Am I wrong?

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    • That’s a very interesting and close to accurate summary of my philosophy. There is a lot more to the message though…(:

      I’m a little hesitant to generalize and say one culture looks at relationships one way and another in another way. I think that how we, regardless of culture, look at relationships is very much influenced by our individual first experiences with other human beings (family, care-givers, friends etc) than by the wider culture. The influence of culture comes later, and some people in the same culture are much influenced by it than others.

      That said, for better or worse, there are some views and approaches to relationships/marriage that are more acceptable in some cultures than in others. If you read through the comments on articles related to “No Contact”, for example. Cutting off all contact with an ex (for whatever reason) is more acceptable to more men and women in North America than men and women in India and Africa. Not burning bridges (even with an ex you do not want anymore) is more the Indian and African approach. I believe the larger cultural context (individual vs. collective) plays into what is more acceptable.

      We seem to have a lot in common… I’d love to continue this chat by email, that is if you are open to it…(:

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