I hear what you are saying, Greg. Unfortunately, both genders …

Comment on How To Stop The Silent Treatment by Love Doctor, Yangki Christine Akiteng.

I hear what you are saying, Greg. Unfortunately, both genders play the victim card.

What I was saying to both Donna and Beth is that before you start pointing fingers at the other person, make sure you are blameless. My experience has been that most people do not want to look at themselves because that means that they have to change. It’s easier to try to change someone else than change oneself.

The irony is that the unhappiest people are those who think they can change another person. They think that if they can change the other person, then everything else would be perfect. Most end up alone or with partners who are there physically but emotionally M.I.A. It’s kind of a vicious cycle.

I do agree with you on the part about “chipping away at his self confidence in the name of helping him change”. I think women are generally more guilty of this than men are. That said, I’m not interested in taking sides. First, it helps no one. And second, it attracts to this blog bitter men and women with no sense of self-accountability or responsibility. I can’t stand both… and will call it out when I see it, regardless of whether it’s a man or woman.

Love Doctor, Yangki Christine Akiteng Also Commented

How To Stop The Silent Treatment
You read her comment. She does NOT want to leave him. She loves him and wants things to work… just doesn’t know how.

Nowhere does she say he “repeatedly withholds love and affection and actively avoids resolution”. I think you are projecting your own personal experience/situation into her experience/situation.

Cutting off all ties is not the solution to every relationship problem. Personally I think severing a relationship just because it has problems is a cope-out by people who lack the ability to maintain relationships… and there is just too many of them on the internet.

If Donna wants to try to make her relationship work, that’s HER decision to make.


How To Stop The Silent Treatment
May be it’s how you talk to him that is THE problem.

Look at your comment for example… “but I’m reading that all I CAN do is leave if I don’t want to deal with torment.”

But half of the article is about what you can do if you don’t want to just leave.

See, when you start a conversation or discussion with false accusations, negative statements, criticism etc, people react either by aggressively defending themselves or just refuse to engage with you in an attempt to defuse the situation and avoid a full blown fight (something you might see as giving the silent treatment”).

And when you follow it with questioning his love for you and acting like you are doing him a favour (“But I feel he is deserving of a loving relationship”), what do you expect?

I would not be surprised if this guy is the really patient one in this relationship, and keeping his silence is the only thing he can do because he loves you.

Some guys can be patient like that. Just being honest…


Recent Comments by Love Doctor, Yangki Christine Akiteng

3 Reasons Staying Friends With Your Ex Is Good For Getting Back Together
That’s a very legitimate concern that’s handled in Dating Your Ex
1) how not to get locked in the “just friends” zone (page 300 )
2) physical contact when trying to get back together (page 308)


10 Signs Your Ex Does NOT WANT You Back
If this is a one time thing and there are no other problems in the relationship, she’s probably still processing what happened and needs time to resolve it within her mind.

If this has happened before (you texting other women), or if there are other issues in the relationship, she might be rethinking if she really wants you back.

Either way, keep lines of communication open, and see where things go.


Tips On Creating A (Good) Plan For Getting Back Your Ex
You are just ¼ into the book. It’s best to read the whole book first to determine where in the process you are in then make a decision based on how much momentum you have built/progress made. In fact, if you read further, you will get to where I talk about going out on dates.


10 Signs Your Ex Does NOT WANT You Back
You are right that talking about the old relationship may have caused him to pull back. As advised in the book, you can’t completely avoid making mistakes. Almost everyone makes at least one or two. It’s how you course correct that makes the difference.You should be able to get back on track using the advice in the book. It’s not completely lost, yet!


Do Exes Really Ever Come Back?
Thanks, I do the best I can.

Yes, it’s a good idea… 🙂 There is enough momentum to propel you forward. I too believe that you will get back together, it’s only a matter of time (if you don’t screw it up).


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