Facts About Rebound Relationships – Will It Last?

rebound-relationship-ex-how-longI’ll be discussing this topic in a few more posts in the coming weeks, but since “rebound relationships” is the theme of the latest comments, I thought it’d help clarify a few things about rebound relationships.

What is a rebound relationship?

1) A relationship proceeding a long-term relationship, usually short in duration and used to help mend the “broken heart.”

2) A relationship in which a person becomes involved with a new partner to prove to themselves they are worthy of love and affection

3) A relationship in which a person quickly gets involved with a new partner to prove to an ex that they have indeed moved on.

What makes a relationship a rebound relationship?

A rebound relationship is easy to spot and recognize for what it is. It’s a band-aid for unresolved pain and the trauma of going through rejection, feeling unwanted or becoming single again. This is true whether one is the dumped or the dumpee.

For people who have an especially hard time moving on after a breakup, it serves as a distraction from moping, obsessing, and even stalking an ex. For others, it is about companionship – someone to spend evenings, weekends, go to parties with, email, call and text. And sometimes it is about sex – just to satisfy the physical desires and nothing more.

Most rebound relationships do not last. How long a rebound relationship lasts depends on:

1) The emotional stability and availability of the person who just left a relationship.

Someone “on the rebound” is often incapable of making a genuine emotional connection with the new partner because of emotional baggage from the break-up – lingering feelings for an ex or unresolved problems from the previous relationship. This ultimately causes the new relationship to struggle and eventually end.

2) The desire to continue distracting oneself from the pain of a break up.

Some people on a rebound after sometime realize that they can’t go on trying to run away from pain. They decide it’s time to eliminate the distraction (rebound relationship) and start the emotional healing and recovery.

3) How long it takes for the “new” man or woman to realize and accept that he/she is a rebound man/woman.

Most people being used as a distraction eventually realizes that the one on the rebound isn’t really ready/emotionally available for a relationship and often end the rebound relationship.

It’s important to understand that not every new relationship after a break-up is always necessarily a “rebound” relationship.

An ex may have actually moved on from you (even if you haven’t) before he/she entered a new relationship. Some people move on in as quickly as hours, especially if they’d already emotionally moved on (lost that “in love” feeling) long before the break-up. Others break-up to be with someone they’ve been interested in/casually seeing for months. So even if it may look like a “new relationship”, the interest and feelings have been there for weeks/months and grown deeper, stronger and stable with time.

And if  two people have a genuinely good connection and are open and honest about their baggage from a just-ended-relationship, these new relationships can and do last.

If you have recently broken up and your ex is already in a new relationship, what you need to do is study the situation very carefully.

1) Why and how did you break up?

2) How did you handle the post-break up period?

3) How soon after you broke up did your ex enter a new relationship?

4) Is the “new” man or woman someone your ex has been interested in/casually seeing for months or someone who seemed to have just appeared from nowhere?

5) Is the new relationship struggling?

6) Is your ex spending more time and effort staying in contact with you than nurturing the new relationship? Etc.

If it is indeed a rebound relationship, consider it buying you time to improve on yourself and be better positioned to offer your ex a different and improved relationship. At the end of the day, it’s not the end of a rebound relationship that’ll make an ex who still has feelings for you come back to you. It’s the value and attractiveness of what you offer.

But if there are all signs that your ex has indeed moved on from you and happy with the new relationship, then it’s time for you to move on too. Don’t just sit there waiting for the new relationship to end because you’ve heard that all new relationships after a break-up are rebound relationships, are unhappy and will not last. The “rebound relationship” may indeed end, but your ex may move on to someone else (not you)!

What you do when you find out your ex is dating someone new sometimes plays a big role in how long the new relationship will last —  and if you can/will get your ex back.

Republished by Blog Post Promoter

More from Yangki Akiteng

Do You Love Your Ex A Little Too Much?

“My problem is that I love him too much!” “What do you...
Read More

150 Comments

  • I am in a some what similar situation. Her ex is now all of a sudden back in the picture. They broke up last year and agreed to remain friends and see what happened. That’s when she and I hooked up. Things were really cool until he showed up. She talks to him everyday and tells me about it. This has been going on for 2 months. We constantly argue about her calling him in the middle of the night every time we have a fight. She wants me to convince her not to talk to him anymore because he’s trying to convince her to break up with me. I just don’t know if I can fight for a relationship this way. I’m not even sure what kind of help I need.

    View Comment
    • Most people in your situation would feel the way you do. She may be using him to keep you on your toes by letting you know that another option is there for her, and doing the same thing to him that she’s doing to you.

      If she really wanted him back, she’d be with him. She wouldn’t tell you to convince her not to talk to him anymore. Whether or not she’ll go back to him should be the least of your worries. This woman sounds very immature and insecure, someone who wants you to have to constantly defend your turf. This should be a red flag for you. May be you should seriously consider dating other women and see what other options exist for you. Let her sort out the issue with her ex and if you’re still available, you and her can try having a healthy mature relationship. Just don’t devalue your worth by playing her game.

      View Comment

Comments are closed.