Comments on: On And Off Again Relationship – When It Is Time To Give Up?

By: Vicky

Vicky — Sat, 19 Mar 2011 05:18:14 +0000

Best advice I’ve read. I’m 43 but never had a long term relationship. Lately I’ve been thinking that if I’d hang on in some of these relationships I might have broken my pattern of continuall¬y making the same kind of choices and breaking up over the same kind of issues. I’ve tried to work on my issues but it’s difficult to deal with relationsh¬ip issues in a vacuum.

By: Johnny

Johnny — Thu, 23 Sep 2010 17:13:07 +0000

Thank you for this post. I’m in a similar situation but I’ll not give up. Love conquers everything. I’ll fight for her because she’s the only one that makes my life complete.

By: Yangki Christine Akiteng, Love Doctor

Yangki Christine Akiteng, Love Doctor — Thu, 01 Apr 2010 20:18:16 +0000

You’re right that no relationship is happy, peaceful or joyous all time. However, if one or both parties are people chronically unhappy, stressed or angry, then what keeps the two people together is often something else (like co-dependent) other than love.

By: solo_flierr

solo_flierr — Thu, 01 Apr 2010 19:59:01 +0000

I don’t think that one should declare it over just because one isn’t happy, peaceful and joyful. No relationship is happy and joyful all of the time.

By: Yangki Christine Akiteng, Love Doctor

Yangki Christine Akiteng, Love Doctor — Wed, 24 Mar 2010 20:38:23 +0000

In the end, if he doesn’t care about you enough to TRY to make it work then he doesn’t deserve to be with you. Some relationships just can’t be restored, unfortunately.

By: Fragilegalaxy

Fragilegalaxy — Wed, 24 Mar 2010 16:55:29 +0000

I believe in working out problems and not running away from them but I can’t keep trying to work on a relationship when the other person isn’t putting in any effort. I’ve done everything I can think of including counselling but he says the way he feels about me has changed and he does not think any effort on his part will change how he feels.

By: Tola

Tola — Mon, 15 Mar 2010 00:59:56 +0000

Still, you need 2 people working in a relationship. If just one side wants to work, it’s not gonna happen. And I think you need to want for real.

By: Vishi

Vishi — Wed, 03 Mar 2010 18:10:59 +0000

I love this post. Relationships are too easy to get out of these days and its time people grew up and learned to work out their relationship problems.

By: The Love Doctor

The Love Doctor — Tue, 02 Mar 2010 23:15:46 +0000

Sounds like there are still strong feelings there but she’s just not sure – and rightly so – that things will work out. My suggestion is not to ask her to come back into the relationship but to ask her to “test drive” things for a time period you can both agree on (1 month, 2 or 3). If she’s open to this, do not try restart the old relationship. Your task is to do a complete do over of everything right from the start.

If there are other “issues” other than the job and hanging out with your buddies, make sure you know what they are and have real sound solutions as to how you’re going to handle things differently including how you act and react to “problem” subjects. She has to see right from the beginning that not only do you get it, but that it’s going to be better this time round otherwise the “test drive” will fail and with it your chance of ever getting her back. It’s not easy, but it can be done!

By: Gauplush

Gauplush — Tue, 02 Mar 2010 21:09:30 +0000

I don’t want to give up on us but she’s pretty much given up on us. We broke up for the 4th time 4 months ago. Her main problem was that I did not have a steady job and hang out with my buddies and drink a lot. I’ve since found a steady job that pays well, I have a new apartment and don’t go out that much anymore. We stayed friends after we broke up and see each other socially quite often. She’s very friendly and flirty with me. But when I told her to give us another chance, she said she doesn’t think her heart can take any more breaking up. I told her I did not want to give up on us, I want her back in my life. What can I do to make her change her mind? Please help me.

btw, we’re both in mid-30s