Question: I seem to have this knack for attracting troubled, emotionally unstable, psycho crazy women. They seem pretty normal when I start out with them, then they start getting kinda bizarre, then really, really insane. There was this crazy woman I had a downright mentally deranged dangerous two year relationship with. The psycho rollercoaster hell ride ended when she said to me “You know, I really am crazy. I can’t help it that I behave this way”. Next day, I got a restraining order issued against her. To this day I’m still scared of what she might do. Another time I had a bit of a stalker. I had barely said two words to her and she was calling my relatives, my friends and her friends telling them how much she loves me. That freaked me out. My question is, why do I attract these seriously weird behaviors and situations? What is it about me that makes me a crazy women magnet?
The Love Doctor’s Answer: I’ve been asked this same question a few too many times and I have two theories as to why men like you end up with what you call “psycho crazy” women.
1. You’re generally attracted to women who come across as a little “nuts” in an intoxicating intense way.
These women often fall in love way too fast and make no effort to hide the fact that they’re into you in a strong way. They’re not necessarily aggressive but know how to charm their way into your life and heart.
In a world of too many head games and me-me-me mentality this can be refreshing, in the early days of the relationship. Then comes the “Mean and Sweet Cycle”; the combination of pain and excitement. You’re on edge and feel so alive around her. Even just hearing her name or voice gets your adrenaline going. I won’t even get started on the bunny-sex.
Unfortunately the intoxicating intensity eventually turns into your worst nightmare.
Next time try to date “not your type” women. It will feel a little strange but you’ll never know what else rocks your boat until you try, may be even try a few different types.
2. You have a “fixer” personality.
You zero on women who you can help “fix” or help in some way. They give you a sense of purpose, like you’re doing something good for someone else. This in itself is a wonderful thing, but as you may have found out — the hard way — you can’t really “fix” someone else. You can’t be therapist and lover at the same time. Never works out.
Take time to really deal with your own issues instead of distracting yourself with women with far more complex issues than yours. I’d even recommend taking a break from dating to really try and understand why you attract these behaviours and situations, and what you need to heal within you.