Friday October 31st 2014

Why Do I Attract Psycho Crazy Women?

Question: I seem to have this knack for attracting troubled, emotionally unstable, psycho crazy women. They seem pretty normal when I start out with them, then they start getting kinda bizarre, then really, really insane. There was this crazy woman I had a downright mentally deranged dangerous two year relationship with. The psycho rollercoaster hell ride ended when she said to me “You know, I really am crazy. I can’t help it that I behave this way”. Next day, I got a restraining order issued against her. To this day I’m still scared of what she might do. Another time I had a bit of a stalker. I had barely said two words to her and she was calling my relatives, my friends and her friends telling them how much she loves me. That freaked me out. My question is, why do I attract these seriously weird behaviors and situations? What is it about me that makes me a crazy women magnet?

The Love Doctor’s Answer: I’ve been asked this same question a few too many times and I have two theories as to why men like you end up with what you call “psycho crazy” women.

1. You’re generally attracted to women who come across as a little “nuts” in an intoxicating intense way.

These women often fall in love way too fast and make no effort to hide the fact that they’re into you in a strong way. They’re not necessarily aggressive but know how to charm their way into your life and heart.

In a world of too many head games and me-me-me mentality this can be refreshing, in the early days of the relationship. Then comes the  “Mean and Sweet Cycle”; the combination of pain and excitement. You’re on edge and feel so alive around her. Even just hearing her name or voice gets your adrenaline going. I won’t even get started on the bunny-sex.

Unfortunately the intoxicating intensity eventually turns into your worst nightmare.

Next time try to date “not your type” women. It will feel a little strange but you’ll never know what else rocks your boat until you try, may be even try a few different types.

2. You have a “fixer” personality.

You zero on women who you can help “fix” or help in some way. They give you a sense of purpose, like you’re doing something good for someone else. This in itself is a wonderful thing, but as you may have found out — the hard way — you can’t really “fix” someone else. You can’t be therapist and lover at the same time. Never works out.

Take time to really deal with your own issues instead of distracting yourself with women with far more complex issues than yours. I’d even recommend taking a break from dating to really try and understand why you attract these behaviours and situations, and what you need to heal within you.

Readers' Questions and The Love Doctor's Answers...

12 Responses to “Why Do I Attract Psycho Crazy Women?”

  1. Chris says:

    I’ve definitely fallen into that trap before, and am always trying to keep myself from getting caught again.

  2. vjnester says:

    A girl being a bit crazy is a turn on

  3. Ron C says:

    Yes, remember the law of attraction! You attract what you genuinely focus your mind and energy on…You are genuinely focused on these psychotic women.

  4. Todd says:

    Hey! this was exactly what i had been feeling about my relationships!

  5. Aussystud says:

    Psychotic chicks will literary screw your brains out

  6. HyperShell says:

    I met this woman on match.com. We agreed to meet at a starbucks and clicked right away. She called me later that night and we fooled around on the phone for about 2 hrs. The next day she texted me 16 times telling me how cool, funny whatever I am. She calls me, text messages me, e-mails me all the time. If I don’t respond or even respond 2 -3 hrs later, she goes completely nuts. She tells me how I’m making her life miserable and she does not want to be around me. An hour or so later she calls to say she’s sorry and loves me and then the calls, text messages and e-mails. I suspect she’s bipolar. Any advice on how to deal with her moods swings?

  7. Sounds like you care so much for this woman otherwise you wouldn’t put up with what you’re going through. If as you say she’s bipolar, I don’t think she can help the way she feels and acts and there is only so much you can do. The best place to get advice on how to deal with her mood swings is from a professional who specializes in bipolar. There are also some online resources and forums that provide support for people with bipolar and the men and women who love them. If she is worth it, then give yourself a chance. It may or may not work but at least you know you did the best you can. Good luck to you.

  8. Bossman says:

    I had a girl burn me with a cigarette because she loved me.

  9. Lolita says:

    I’m a wild one, I must admit. I can easily wrap a guy around my finger, and nice boys especially let me run all over them.

  10. solo_flierr says:

    All the women I’ve been with have crossed the nut line! hahahaha

  11. Kyle says:

    I am in more line with number 2 on your post where I attract people I think I can *help* and when they think I become too force-full then that’s it baby. It’s over. :(

    I’ve lost many relationships because of that cold hard truth. :(

    Looks like I am in for a long bumpy ride especially withthe 2012 changes coming and I hope I go to the *positive* timeline but so far the greedy side shows.

  12. Dave says:

    i seem to attract these type of women when i go out to the clubs, very scary.

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