Ask a group of women what qualities they look for in a guy, and “a sense of humor” is bound to show up on top of the list. It’s no wonder that most guys think “making her laugh” is a good way to impress her. They become instant comedians, entertainers and clowns all in attempt to try to impress women with how funny they are. In their minds, if she’s laughing, it must be a sign that she’s interested. ”
But does “she’s laughing” really translate to “she’s interested?”
That question can be answered by looking deeper into what exactly women are looking for when they say they want a guy with “a sense of humour”. I asked a few of my friends and clients to help me break down what a “sense of humour” means to them. Everyone had their own individual say on what “a good sense of humour” is and is not. Some of the responses included:
1. Someone who does not take himself seriously and can sometimes laugh at himself
2. Someone who can be serious about important things but also sees the “funny” side of life
3. Someone who is confident, can flow with things and just enjoy life
4. Someone who is flexible and light-hearted
5. Someone who is playfully entertaining, not boring
What I take from this (and what you should) is that it’s true that most women want a guy who can make them laugh, but “a sense of humour” is more than just the ability to make a woman laugh. It’s possible to make a woman laugh but still be thought of as lacking “a good sense of humour” if for the rest of the time you’re uptight, judgemental, stressed out, incessantly negative and just can’t take life less seriously.
A “good sense of humour” is not just about the words you say or the timing and delivery of a funny joke, it’s also about having a good sense of fun.
Having a good sense of fun is simply the ability to have fun with great ease. Next time you want to make a woman laugh, don’t just go for the laughs or routines. Go one step further and create an individual, intimate and relaxed atmosphere that shows more of your personality and sense of fun. The more individual and “naturally you” your sense of fun, the more refreshing she will find you to be. The more refreshing you are the more attractive you will be.
But what really solidifies the attraction is if she feels your sense of fun matches her own. This is not about what you think she should find “funny”, but about how she feels it’s funny. It’s not even about “what women think is funny” because women come in all ranges of personalities, temperaments, likes and dislikes. Some women like a thoughtful or clever sense of humor and others find observational humour more appealing. Some are drawn to men with a very dry sense of humor and others find the goofy/silly gimmicky type very entertaining. Some enjoy cute lines and others prefer a bit of sarcasm. Some women find sexual humour funny and others are disgusted by it.
Experiment based on your specific personality and natural inclinations instead of trying to impress her by trying to become someone you’re not. Besides it being really hard, trying to be someone you’re not is unsustainable.
If you get it, and I mean like really, really get it, your “sense of humour” will show more naturally and the two of you will “click” by just being yourselves. How cool is that!
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