Your relationship may have started out with excitement, passion and great hope. There was lots of love and trust to go around but now, there is a surge of negative energy generated when you are together that can be hard to ignore.
It’s time to take stock of your relationship. Here are just ten warning signs that tell you that you are headed to breaking -up.
1. The relationship has no clarity and one of you seems resistant to such clarity because somehow that means he/she has to step up and deliver, or be really open about his/her intentions and motivations.
2. One of you seems to be demanding too much attention, expects too much from the relationship, is bossy, self-centered or focusing on instant gratification rather than long-term happiness.
3. Whenever you have a conversation, it is mostly about problems in the relationship: what is not going right, or who is doing or not doing what etc. Light-hearted and happy conversations are an exception rather than the norm.
4. You pick away at each other with criticisms and nagging, and little problems and everyday complaints are magnified to the extent that one or both of you end up giving the other the silent treatment.
5. Anger is expressed immediately and with little hesitation. Emotions end up flying all around causing more chaos. The other negative effect of this is making your arguments everybody’s business.
6. You quickly and frequently feel quite frustrated with each other and don’t feel that strong, intimate connection you had in the beginning.
7. One or both of you harbours fears about the loss of the relationship or betrayal, and this sometimes leads to using underhanded manipulation and tactics with each other.
8. There is a feeling that one of you holds all power and control, and the other (and rightly so) is making too many sacrifices for the relationship.
9. One or both of you feels insecure when either of you connects with other people or expresses independence by doing things or going places without the other.
10. Your sex life is sporadic and one of you always ends up feeling used or less than satisfied.
At this stage of your relationship, it is very easy to slip into a love-hate relationship and even end the relationship. But it doesn’t have to be the end. With commitment, and willingness to be open and honest with oneself and with each other, you can recapture the love, excitement and passion you once had.
Always remember that, you have come together to learn something about your own deepest fears, needs and feelings, and this may not always be pleasant!
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